Somehow Village Voice editors convinced Michael Musto it would be a good idea to reimagine Lindsay Lohan's insta-classic New York magazine photo shoot by having its own gossip columnist vamp for the camera. Shockingly, the idea turned out to be not half bad: Naked Musto isn't entirely as unappealing as some thought.

I've long lived quite dangerously myself, and so, anxious to share my desperate man-tits with an audience beyond Chelsea, I gleefully agreed to star in an homage to an homage: Musto as Lohan as Marilyn. That's three generations of loveliness, and I prepared for it by not shaving or waxing a thing, just letting it all hang in the wind as both a nod to history and a means of reclaiming control. Just like with Marilyn and Lindsay, people have always grabbed at me, wanting a piece of my piece and a slice of my soul, but usually with more pepperoni and less cheese. Well, this time, I was seizing the power back by saying: "My bits are only mine to give. Now here they are, world. Take it all!"

[VV]