The video you'll be talking about for the next 3.67 days is, undoubtedly, footage of Knight Rider David Hasselhoff intoxicated and eating some sort of drunk food a hamburger while his daughter films it, advising him that he'll lose his The Producers gig if he drinks. It's hysterical, entertaining, or worth the 30 seconds of your life that it takes to consume.

But that's not even where the fun ends. Now the tabloid shows are feuding over the footage. Extra claims it's their exclusive, but will let you see it. Meanwhile, Entertainment Tonight and The Insider claim its theirs, and are being passive-aggressive about letting you watch it.

Warner Bros.' Extra was first out of the gate, blasting off a alert just moments ago that says:

DESPITE REPORTS TO THE CONTRARY… MULTIPLE NEWS ORGANIZATIONS, FIRST AMONG THEM “EXTRA,” HAVE ACCESS TO THE CLIPS OF DAVID HASSELHOFF IN LAS VEGAS. “EXTRA” IS GIVING YOU PERMISSION TO RUN CLIPS WE HAVE PROVIDED FOR YOUR USE.

OTHER SHOW’S CLAIMS TO COMPLETE EXCLUSIVITY ARE FALSE.

And who would those other shows be? They'd be Paramount's The Insider and Entertainment Tonight, who, literally 12 seconds later, fired off this missive:

NOTICE OF ENTERTAINMENT TONIGHT’S AND THE INSIDER’S RIGHTS IN THEIR FOOTAGE OF DAVID HASSELHOFF

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THIS IS TO ADVISE THAT ENTERTAINMENT TONIGHT AND THE INSIDER ARE OWNERS OF THE DOMESTIC SYNDICATED TELEVISION AND WORLDWIDE INTERNET RIGHTS IN THEIR FOOTAGE OF DAVID HASSELHOFF.

YOU ARE HEREBY ADVISED THAT YOU MAY NOT BROADCAST, TRANSMIT, STREAM OR OTHERWISE USE THIS MATERIAL IN VIOLATION OF ENTERTAINMENT TONIGHT’S AND THE INSIDER’S RIGHTS, REGARDLESS OF HOW YOU MAY HAVE OBTAINED IT, WITHOUT THE CONSENT OF ENTERTAINMENT TONIGHT AND THE INSIDER. ANY BROADCAST, TRANSMISSION, STREAMING OR OTHER USE OF THE MATERIAL IN VIOLATION OF ENTERTAINMENT TONIGHT’S AND THE INSIDER’S VALUABLE RIGHTS WILL CONSTITUTE A WILLFUL INFRINGEMENT. ANY SUCH VIOLATION MAY SUBJECT YOU TO SUBSTANTIAL LIABILITY UNDER APPLICABLE LAWS.

PLEASE IMMEDIATELY ADVISE YOUR AFFILIATES, LICENSEES AND SUBSCRIBERS OF OUR RIGHTS AND THESE RESTRICTIONS.

Seventeen minutes later came this:

ENTERTAINMENT TONIGHT AND THE INSIDER WILL MAKE PORTIONS OF ITS MATERIAL REGARDING DAVID HASSELHOFF AVAILABLE TO THE MEDIA UPON REQUEST.

Why, thanks for being so considerate.