The U.S. government finally seized mortgage companies Fannie Mae and Freddie Mac and gave them the ass-paddling of a lifetime. You can't entirely blame the foreclosure meltdown on these two financial giants, but you might as well, since everyone from investors to Wall Street kids to you, personally, will foot the bill for the national bail-out.

Oh, and in case the panties you bought with your tax rebate aren't in a twist enough, the chief execs of the foundering firms could be exiting the company with more than the supply closet pens; Daniel Mudd of Fannie and Richard Syron of Freddie stand to make $9.3 million and $14.1 million respectively when they gracefully bow out from the spotlight. Which is considerably less than their predecessors made but hey, those guys didn't manage to run their good names into the ground so they might have deserved those millions upon millions. Probably not though.

Silver lining? European stocks sky-rocketed today after promises that those affected by the subprime mortgage crisis will see some return now that good old Uncle Sam is finally stepping in and taking responsibility for his bastard offspring.