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Memorial Day Backlash
Nicole Richie Slandered By The Media Without Any Rhyme or Reason

May 31st, 2007

Apparently Nicole Richie made a joke about her lifelong struggle with eating disorders and some people (ahem, prudes!) aren’t laughing. And now that People magazine has somehow gotten ahold of Nicole’s Memorial Day BBQ invitation (stolen from In Touch, who had it first?), the inevitable backlash has already begun!

Writes Nicole:

Let’s glorify this day in your sluttiest tops and your tightest pair of Tsubi jeans, even though we have no clue what Memorial Day really means!! There will be a scale at the front door. No girls over 100 pounds allowed in. Start starving yourself now. See you all then!!!

Being a slow news day and all, Nicole’s party invitation has come under a good deal of media scrutiny. Nonetheless, Nicole seems somewhat surprised by the overwhelmingly negative public reaction.

Richie, 25, told Ryan Seacrest on his KIIS-FM radio show Wednesday that she can’t understand the fallout: “I mean, it rhymes. Are you really going to take an e-mail that rhymes that seriously? And it’s a private e-mail to my friends. I was joking and I don’t think there’s anything wrong with it.”

Wait, so we can say whatever we want so long as it rhymes! Too bad we didn’t realize this before we were slapped with all those libel lawsuits!

Anyhow, seeing as that’s the case, we’ve got a few rhyming words of advice for Nicole…after the jump.

Hope your Victoria Beckham themed BBQ was a hit
You totally deserve it
But when none of your friends eat meat or solids
Why even bother to serve it?

Now, your friend Paris is heading to jail soon
Your friend Lindsay drove drunk and crashed her car
Who ever could have predicted
You’d be the most together one by far!

But you should probably quit making jokes
About eating disorders and malnourished frames
Then consider going through your Google address book
And eliminating all the People reporters’ names

Next up for Jossip: A post pertaining to Bill O’Reilly’s jowls comprised entirely in iambic pentameter. Stay tuned!

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