Today, we here at Jossip Headquarters have decided to commemorate our nation's triumph over the American Indians and propensity for over-eating by taking a moment to reflect on our wonderful lives and come up with a list of things for which we are thankful. Next: raronauer.

Around this time every year, my father proclaims his greatest wish is to collect the tolls on Throgs Neck Bridge for just one Thanksgiving. But Thanksgiving is not the time for bizarre dreams of winning some sort of municipal lottery. It’s a time to give thanks to the simple pleasures things, like the four day weekend ahead of us.

And this year, there is much to be thankful for.

• First and foremost, I’m thankful that my television preferences are strictly reality based. If Spencer and Heidi were ever to go on strike from their “real” life, I’d be totally screwed.

• Speaking of The Hills, I’m thankful that the set designers of The Hills have such a good sense of humor. Like Spencer even reads.

• I’m thankful for jakobandjulia.com. Seriously, I’m banking on that site to get me through the off season of The Hills.

• I’m thankful for the girlfriend-less man-children who keep the internet alive. Without their support, I would have nothing.

• I’m thankful for Facebook. Seriously, that site rules.

• I’m thankful that Mike Huckabee used his dramatic weight loss to launch himself onto the national scene and now has the semi-ironic endorsements of Chuck Norris and Ric Flair. I’m also pleasantly surprised to know that Ric Flair is still alive.

• I’m thankful Judith Regan is back causing trouble. The news cycle was starting to get slow.

• I’m thankful Radiohead has inspired fledging magazines to give away subscriptions for free. I’m hopeful that this trend will extend to magazines I actually want to read in the coming year.