Jossip Juxtaposition: Condi's boots walk all over New York 22582
• Don't look to see Condoleezza Rice in any "I Love New York" ads anytime soon. After catching a Wednesday night performance of Spamalot (where she was booed when the lights came up), the Secretary of Insensitivity went shopping at Ferragamo on Fifth Avenue. While browsing thousands of dollars in new shoes (replacement dominatrix boots?), a horrified fellow shopper shouted, "How dare you shop for shoes while thousands are dying and homeless!" For being so forward, Condi rewarded her by having her security toss the shopper from the store — and then decided to cut her stay short to, uh, do her job.
• Nice to know Lil' Jon and R. Kelly have their egos intact, even when trapped in an elevator. When a guest at the Sagamore Hotel called a friend to let them know he was stuck, the duo snatched the phone and said, "Go ahead and tell them who you are stuck in the elevator with."
• Even though Michael Lohan is in the pokey for more sins than you can count, it's reassuring to know he still has a song in his heart. In response to daughter Lindsay's upcoming song about her strained relationship with her dad, Michael's come up with this ditty: "I loved and protected you, I was THERE through it all./I do admit, I did at times fall./But these things you know were due to "THEM"/The ones that want to have a piece of my gem!" Though it's Lindsay rocking the rocks, not daddy.
• Blame Bennifer 2.0! Or at least that's what Michael Vartan fans want you to do. After learning the former Jennifer Garner plaything was being written out of Alias, his "fans" started a slander campaign alleging, among other things, that nobody is allowed to mention Vartan's name on the set, everyone present must applaud Garner after each scene, no one can look at Garner going to or from her trailer and cast and crew aren't allowed to speak with her. Oh, and be polite to Ben Affleck, even though Vartan's friends can't stand him.
• What would Janice Dickinson do? Say attendees at her one woman show, not much. Besides starting half an hour late, she forgot her script and couldn't remember how her own stories went. When Bobby Trendy and Kimberly Stewart walked out, you know it's bad.
• So what do you do when your home confinement ends? Leave! Martha Stewart, along with daughter Alexis, was spotted yesterday morning, coffee cup in hand, getting in a caravan of SUVs headed to Westchester County Airport. No word on her destination, but we're betting she's not going to visit her former prison pals in West Virginia.
• Rapper Juvenile has mixed blessings during Katrina. The good news is that he was able to save his entire family, but the bad is that his home is totally destroyed. The rapper is urging that people keep the city in their prayers, and to donate to the Red Cross.