• NBA player John Amaechi comes out, inspiring a crazy homophobic rant from former Indiana Pacers star, Tim Hardaway.

• Fabian Basabe is concerned that his DUI will interfere with his work schedule pathetic obsession with becoming famous.

• Daniel Baldwin has been getting the rich and famous rehab treatment despite being a huge financial burden to his family and only marginally famous.

• Meanwhile, a freshly rehabbed Lindsay Lohan has managed to incorporate threesomes into her road to recovery.

• Anna Nicole's methadone-friendly doctor to officially rescind his Hippocratic Oath.

• Victoria Beckham can make the crazy-but-gorgeous Katie Holmes look lovely in March's Harper's Bazaar; but can she really design clothes for women with back-fat?

• Meanwhile, Jim Carrey's slightly worried that he'll become a couch-jumping Scientologist with no career.

• David Spade and Christina Applegate's cast offs hook up.

• Richard Gere still blaming Sly Stallone for starting the "gerbil in the ass" rumor.

• Scientology begins to stalk J. Lo and J. Car.

• Fabian Basabe's charges against former Bungalow 8 doorman Armin Amiri have been dropped by the DA. Something about "he made it up."

• Lizzie Grubman popped.

• Rosie O'Donnell kicks it with republicans, pads their coffers.

• There were fags before T.R. Knight, Lance Bass, and Neil Patrick Harris, you know.

It's a bit of a rough looking website – even by our kitschy standards – but it's about time Fabian Basabe got his own dot com. Granted, it looks more to be a fan site than the online home of everyone's favorite new philanthropist. How'd we know?

Home of the world's biggest loser, media whore and all around annoying idiot. He's been named as the male 'Paris Hilton', what an honor. This site is dedicated to getting his parents to dump his sorry ass and make him get a job. Cut him off of his trust fund and donate it all to charity. Your son is an embarassment to you, your legacy and to the great country of Ecuador.

Terms of 'endearment' to describe this waste of DNA; media whore, loser, punk, punk-ass bitch, sissy, TFB (Trust Fund Brat), jerk, twit, dumba$$ and dip$hit.

Yeah, that sort of tipped us off. But welcome to the Internets, Fabs!

• Newsweek to raise cover price in an attempt to have readers continue to dump the print version for the free online edition.

• Ariel Foxman secures gig as editor-at-large for Time Inc. First assginment: Trolling the halls of InStyle.

• Wet get it, we get it: Graydon Carter's Waverly Inn is the new Michael's.

• Watch as WWD recycles much of our October Fabian Basabe story.

• VNU continues the holiday cheer with five sacked at the Hollywood Reporter.

• NYT needs cash, turns to high priced rental market, looks to lease more floors in new building.

• Al Franken ditching Air America Radio. Or AAR ditched Al. Something like that.

Is Fabian Basabe possibly less rich and more despisable than previously thought? WWD's Memo Pad steers away from its usual chronicling of style editors coming and going to hunt down the truth of Basabe's supposed fortunes. With nary a sexual orientation mention in sight, we almost didn't bother with all those words devoted to the supposed philathropist — and then we found our moment in the sun:

He won't likely be taking his talent to ABC, though. A minute later, Basabe wagged a finger at the network's "20/20," claiming it had fleeced him.

"The interview wasn't meant to be on party boys gone bad. It was supposed to be about a nonprofit foundation I've created this year and am working on building. I was pretty disappointed," said Basabe, who recently appeared on the E Entertainment network reality show "Filthy Rich: Cattle Drive." "I don't normally bend over backward to give access to people."

It's true! Fabian only bends over backward to give access to skinny male model types.

If you are a normal person, last night you wisely decided to skip 20/20's segment on Fabian Basabe, the party circuit fella who's had the superlative "It boy" attached to him far too long for him to be "It anything" anymore.

Lucky you, then, that the segment is available online. You've already read about the highlights (damn those blogs ruining the payoff!), but it's worth revisiting how we went about getting his first – and only – real job: He called 411, asked for the nearest investment bank (it was Morgan Stanley), walked in without an appointment, asked to see the HR director, and professed that he could bring his "relationships" to the table for unmatched success. Then they asked him to come in at 8am and have lunch at his desk. You know, without another person present or a waiter to refill your Pellegrino.

Says Fabian: "It just wasn't interesting enough for me." Maintaining the image of a heterosexual heir to a business fortune? Much more interesting. And no alarm clock or 401k to worry about.

• Lindsay Lohan postpones date to snort coke off bathroom floor for a quick trip to AA.

• Kathy Griffin nearly dropped off the D-list and to the Death-list.

• Just as she makes so many in-roads to be a better mother, Anna Nicole gets evicted.

• Suge Knight claims Snoop Dogg never ends up in jail because he's always willing to namedrop bigger fish.

• It's cat and mouse for Fabian Basabe and Amy Sacco.

• Christina Aguilera has one heavy night of partying and all of a sudden she's got to be compared to Britney Spears again.

• Dan Abrams says "great job" to all your MSNBC folk! You're doing a fantastic job maintaining third place.

• Fabian Basabe isn't content with just a DUI charge; he needs a 20/20 special to go into elaborate detail as to all the reasons he's not fit to hold down a real job.

• Stop. Everything. Simon Dumenco found a magazine he likes.

• Dan Peres turns his diary into an editor's letter.

• Former Budget Living doyenne Sarah Gray Miller too cheap for InStyle?

• Nick Lachey shows he's over Jessica and on to guys in cups.

"It" boy Fabian Basabe has been gone from the headlines so long, the likes of likes of Tinsley Mortimer and Luigi Tadini have nearly replaced him from our consciousness. But Fabian, never one to run from a headline – other than those involving the terms "Star Room" and "negroes" – is intent on creating his own. And how else does an orientation-ambigious male socialite go about doing that? The same way a female socialite would: via charity. We hear that Fabian went and created the Imaginary Heroes Foundation, which we're told is registered as a 501c3/charitable non-profit. Which is a great way to accept tax-free contributions for a good cause. Or hide your income in a tax shelter. Either way, it needs a mission statement:

A philanthropic non-profit institution that serves as a resource for innovative people and initiatives worldwide. Its mission is to promote universal cooperation, and advance human achievement through support programs in such areas as medicine, education, research and service. With the help of other humanitarian organizations we will distribute funds to community development efforts around the world.

It's not that Imginary Heroes' mission sounds like nearly every other half-assed good-for-karma cause that puts a kink in our Frank Gehry-designed Tiffany necklace. It's that Fabian dubbed his foundation "Imaginary Heroes," the name of the 2005 Sigourney Weaver film that carries the tagline: "People are never who they seem to be." So close to reality, it's trippy.

• Come on, people. Hugh Hefner didn’t have a stroke! He just went to bed after Wheel of Fortune. Because he’s 80 freakin’ years old? [AP]

• Yes. We all know Colin Farrell is bad in bed. We saw the tape. [R&M]

• Normally we don't make fun of sick people ... but eww. Jared Leto has gout? OMG did he give to Lindsay Lohan? [Page Six]

• Fabian Basabe tries to keep his existance meaningful by standing up for his friends and suing Bungalow 8. For the time being, however, you can all enjoy his absense from the club. [NYDN]

• Well, the gays for one, one watch Oprah over Ellen. Somehow, we're sure the rest of you agree. [Queerty]

AM New York sex columnist and blogger Julia Allison – who also busies herself byling for Cosmopolitan, and then writing about her boss' book for AMNY – did as she always does when her bevy of women's mags arrive in her mail slot: opens them up, flaps them around so the mailer cards flutter to the floor, and dives right in with an half-open pint of The Gobfather. But the August issue of Glamour had the unfortunate surprise that Gotham used to Already at the point of "It" boy extinction that not even Atoosa Rubenstein would open up her book to him, Fabian Basabe shows up in a five-page spread in Cindi Leive's pages — which upset Allison enough. The kicker, however, was that Basabe didn't just take over so many glossy pages of girly goodness. It's that he wrote them himself.

Today, I innocently opened my August issue of Glamour, anticipating a lovely hour of procrastination perusing the usual ampersand-obsessed mix of "Fashion & Beauty," "Health & Body," "Dos & Don'ts" and the occasional "My Sister/Mother/Female Dog Had Cancer & Survived" piece.

And what did I get instead??

FIVE. PAGES. OF. FABIAN. FRIGGING. BASABE.

Fabian smiling. Fabian dancing. Fabian blowing out his birthday candles. Fabian dipping various long-maned women while simultaneously posing for photos (hello, he practices in front of the mirror at home!). Fabian wondering if his butt looks big in these jeans.

My first thought was "Oh god, they've done a puff piece on Failed Former Sorta-It Boys Who Might Be Gay and Also Maybe Not As Rich As They Insinuate They Are." And then I saw it.

"It" being ... Fabian's byline. Fabian, apparently, is now a writer. Like every other New Yorker (except me), he's "working on a novel" about his favorite subject. Um, Fabian, obvi?

Julia's got the Glamour scans over at her blog, where we've been working hard to identify the tear stains.

Dear Glamour Editor/Fabian's Lit Agent, Have You No Shame?? [Julia Allison]

The New York Times has about 4,000 words today about the state of our eroding beaches. Residence in Florida, Long Island, even Santa Barbara will be affected by this residual effect of global warming. (Paging Al Gore.)

And while we really do think the Times did a fantastic job of hitting on all the major points of this travesty, there is definitely one group of people they've left out. And those are the bloggers who have devoted the next years of their lives to covering what's happening at the beach.

Oh, and they left out Fabian Basabe, too. What is he without the Hamptons?

Next Victim of Warming: The Beaches [Cornelia Dean, New York Times]

The "It boy" article has been done. Dozens of times. So what lead NYT's Sunday Styles along the path to revisit the archetype? We're not sure, exactly, but it seems scribe Peter Davis got his hands on a "new" term: male socialite — always an excuse for a Styles piece. So there Davis goes, traversing the charity party circuit in search of an explanation for the XYs in Gotham's party pages.

The job description was codified: those usually gay men accompanied women whose husbands abhorred the black-tie circuit; the men were well dressed and cultured and knew to step aside when photographers raised their cameras. After the party, they escorted their dates to their front doors, and no farther.

Davis then goes on name drop codified examples of male socialites: jewelry "exec" Luigi Tadini, Derek Blasberg (seen here uncomfortably close to the also-straight Men's Voguer Hud Morgan), and, of course, Fabian Basabe. The new male socialites, you see, are not gay.

(In the interest of fairness, both Tadini and Basabe have explicitly expressed their heterosexuality to us. Blasberg – who we've never had the chance to meet – needs no explanation.)

The Socialite Wore a Black Tie [Peter Davis, NYT]

• Oprah brought David Letterman more than three times his regular audience — and bragging rights aimed at Jay Leno. [AP]

• In Touch is giving out $1 million to one lucky reader. The two dozen other readers, unfortunately, will get nothing. [WWD]

• Irv and Chris Gotti's jurors paid attention: If the cash don't fit, you must acquit. The record label execs were acquitted of money laundering charges, whereupon two of the jurors immediately became their newest groupies. [NYT]

• Britney Spears is rumored to be meeting with divorce lawyers to end her short-lived romance with Kevin Federline. Jossip is rumored to be dancing a jig. [News of the World]

• Tom Cruise and Katie Holmes' reps aren't saying one way or the other whether the Neiman Marcus wedding registry is actually theirs, probably because they'd have to own up to those cheap face cloths. [The Scoop]

• At least Lizzie Grubman can be applauded for teaching her Power Girls how to generate press. Party shadow and Jossip friendly Rachel Krupa did just that with Entourage's Adrian Grenier, and thankfully Turtle wasn't in the vicinity to pick up the leftovers. [Page Six]

• Fabian Basabe isn't just a lousy closet gay, he's a lousy driver. [Page Six]

• Marilyn Manson is it in for the long haul with Dita Von Teese, tying the knot over the weekend in Ireland. And no, they did not drink and each other's blood. [People]

• The NBA aren't the only ones who don't want to see anymore of Dennis Rodman: The folks at Crobar don't either. [Page Six]

• The real reason Kate Moss left Pete Doherty: he can't buy her diamonds and his dick is too small. [The Scoop]

What's worse: Being gay or poor? For Fabian Basabe, it's a simple choice: money trumps butt buddies any day.

He's quite okay with laughing off the gay "rumors" — but Page Six insinuating the Basabe fortune is not as hefty as once imagined? That's just savage.

He tells Details magazine:

They were insulting about my father. I would probably be defensive if they even knew what they were talking about. I have nothing to prove.

Nothing to prove, except that legitimate relationship.

First Class Dog [Page Six]

• Suge Knight's belt just got tighter now that a judge ruled to freeze the self-shooter's assets. The imprisoned husband of Lydia Harris, who is due $107 million from Suge for helping start Death Row Records, says half of that judgment should be his.

• Mary-Kate and Ashley Olsen are looking to take twin actors Cole and Dylan Sprouse under their wing and turn them into the male version of them. Not the walking waif aspect, but the minting cash one.

• Paris Hilton continues snubbing probable ex-fiance Paris Latsis by touring the town with Scott Storch. Supposedly it's a move to generate publicity for her upcoming album. Or her upcoming, ahem, video.

• Meanwhile, new relationships are forming all around, with Tyson Beckford and Foxy Brown coupling up during a night at PM. So pleased were the duo that they asked for a copy of the photo a NYDN photog snapped.

• Maury Povich is back for an additional three years, say the rumors, as he's reupped with NBC Universal to continue airing what amounts to boot camp follow-ups.

• Dear god, we're not sure we can endure so many words on the relationship between Rupert and Lachlan Murdoch. And usually we enjoy reading about attractive young white people.

• It's actually not so hard to get in the door at a Fashion Week show, so long as you get bitchy about your birth certificate.

• We weren't the only ones who love, love loved the circus that is The Tyra Banks Show.

• Fabian Basabe suddenly got Asian, which is not the same as suddenly going gay. Some transitions are more subltle, after all.

• The Island producers Walter Parkes and Laurie MacDonald are blaming the movie's title (named after something that doesn't even exist in the film) and its stars Scarlett Johansson and Ewan McGregor for the $120 million flop. They say lesser TV actors couldn't secured a bigger draw. Like, Katie Holmes?

• Bill Maher is falling for Niche Media's Jason Binn, now that the actor is penning a column for Binn's Gotham magazine. We're hoping that won't mean Fabian Basabe loses his page.

• HBO isn't letting its favorite franchise die early. Instead of the planned series finale next year, The Sopranos was signed for an extra eight episodes to air after the sixth season's sign-off.

• It's been only a few days since Eddie Murphy's wife Nicole filed for divorce and already he's on the prowl for a new fling. Perhaps his behavior has something to do with their "irreconcilable differences."

• Kimberly Stewart, who called Jennifer Anistion "homely" and not "gorgeous or anything" is trying to make good, sending flowers and an apology to the broken-hearted actress. Kimberly, Kimberly, Kimberly, now what did we say about throwing stones?

• Nicole Richie and producer Andrew Shaifer are trying to dodge Paris Hilton by moving the premiere date of their Kids In America to October 21, away from Paris' Pledge This November 4 debut date.

After all hell broke loose in the land of gossip following Fabian Basabe's "The Star Room Incident" (as it will now be known), we wanted to go straight to the source (we hear that's what Page Six actually does) for the real spin on to which we could add our own spin.

So we asked Fabs a couple follow-up questions — and if you don't think he's really, really sorry about calling the bouncers "negroes," then your soul must look like Glenda Bailey's.

First, we wanted to know if anyone actually accepted his apology, from the staff to the fellow s-lites he fell over.

A prior family engagement meant that I've had to be in Italy since shortly after the incident. I have sent them a note basically saying that I am mortified by my own mouth, and it doesn't reflect my attitude towards anyone that works there, or African-Americans in general for that matter.

That's nice, but did all this put an end to his night? There were plans to go to Tavern!

I never made it to Tavern that night. I was too embarrassed by my own actions at Star Room. Going home early was the wisest decision I made all night.

So is he going to show his face again this summer in the East End?

I love the Hamptons and will definitely be back.

And wow is La Perla wifie Martina reacting? And daddy?

They were of course concerned because they couldn't believe at first that I would say something like that. I come from a multicultural family in the first place, and the type of language that I used at Star Room would earn a smack in the Basabe household. Everyone understands that I screwed up and that it won't happen again.

And lastly, who got the story completely wrong?

I don't really want to get into a pissing contest over the details. The Daily News got more right, but when you're dealt 300 words or whatever in Page Six, they're of course going to miss some facts. But all of that is beside the basic fact which is that I was being a plum idiot. And I am truly sorry.

So there you have it, folks: Rush & Molloy cares more about their subjects than Richard Johnson.