Though Miles Jaffe’s The Hamptons Dictionary: The Essential Guide to Class Warfare dropped on April 1, it’s taken us until now to 1) pull it out of the envelope it arrived in; 2) find ourselves in a situation that warrants it. But now that we’re fully into Hamptons season, learned our lessons from Shallon Lester, and know all the hotspots to make fun of and secretly patronize, we finally cracked it open. And what a wealth of information it is! Especially coming from someone who hates all of the things he defines. CONTINUED »
The most interesting part of this Q&A with Bill Hemmer in Hamptons magazine is that it appeared in Hamptons magazine, not on a Fire Island blog.
… except for New York magazine. [NYM]
Lazing around the Hamptons this summer and happen to be a card-carrying member of SAG? Then perhaps you’re the perfect fit to play an extra on Josh Schwartz’s Gossip Girl, which will be filming on the East End (in Southampton on the 18th and 19th, and Upper Brookville the 22nd and 23rd). Also, you must “own a wide variety of upscale wardrobe including, but not limited to, polished trendy, designer labels, elegant formalwear, single and double breasted suits in addition to tasteful shoes and accessories.” Making perfect sense, the casting call is this Saturday at Pink Elephant, where people like you will have a chance to hang out with other people like you, whether you get on the show or not.
Shallon Lester, the
You might know Lester from her chronicled attempts of trying to be Paris Hilton’ BFF. But she’s also the co-author of Hot Mess, about a surburban girl who takes to New York City to, like, try and make it.
As Amazon describes the book: “Emma’s totally prepped for days at a fabulous internship and nights of socialite-ing around town. But when you’re 17 and not an heiress, reality is far from pink fizzy drinks and red velvet ropes. As the summer heats up, Emma learns that glamour is hard to come by when your only friend is too boy-crazy to hang, your budget is more H&M than D&G, and you spend 8 hours a day working for a man who proves that the devil wears Dockers too.”
Which has this video from Lester making perfect sense. It’s where she describes the Hamptons, a mythical place she says she’s never been to, as a place for losers. (Which it totally is! See you there this weekend?)
The video is below and, warning, it auto-starts. But it’s quite funny.
Update: Lester writes in to tell us that she went to the Hamptons this weekend. A virgin no more! CONTINUED »
The Memorial Day Weekend didn’t just kick off the summer Hamptons season – it also began the summer Hamptons magazine printing schedule. And with this, the magazine’s 30th anniversary, publisher Jason Binn, who bought the title in 1999, takes readers on a retrospective of the magazine. [WWD]
At left, Madonna’s July 4, 1985 issue; at right, the current Kim Cattrall edition, which was feted over the weekend; somewhere in the middle, the end of the East End’s big hair and the beginning of its big yachts.
Both Page Six and Rush & Molloy bring news that convicted tax cheat Wesley Snipes, who faces up to three years in prison for trying to get away with snubbing the government’s little requirement that you send it a chunk of your income, enjoyed his last days by partying in the Hamptons. The dead man walking’s drink of choice? A Hennesey sidecar.
Oopsy! Did you find yourself in the Hamptons this weekend and forget where you’re supposed to be having other people see you? Then Jossip’s Hamptons Guide To Places To Party For Those Who Use “Summer” As A Verb is a must-read.
So read it here.
And on that note, we’ll see you here on Tuesday.
OMG you guys! Like, tomorrow kicks off Memorial Day Weekend, and thus, the official opening of the Hamptons (and Fire Island) season.
Gotham and Hamptons proprietor Jason Binn pseudo-offered to let us crash at his place for the weekend – he probably makes that offer to everyone – but if you’re like us, you’re going to be stumbling in at 5 in the morning, probably covered in a mix of sand, oyster juices, and Veuve Clicquot, and we doubt wife Haley would appreciate that.
But beside crashing various events you were Julia Allison-style invited to (which is to say, you weren’t), what’s going to keep you busy after the sun goes down on the East End? Here’s the Jossip’s Hamptons Guide To Places To Party For Those Who Use “Summer” As A Verb. CONTINUED »
Memorial Day is just two weekends away, which means Hamptons season is upon us. And what, you think that Ralph Lauren polo is gonna cut it at Dune? Uh uh. If you’re going to master your douchey ways, then you need to double, triple, quintuple-up on your collars. [Planet Douche] CONTINUED »
Not only will next season kick off in the Hamptons, but it’s going to be super-long! Expect The CW to announce a super-sized, 24-episode Season Two, since the writers strike cut short this season. Says star Leighton Meester: “And, by the way, we aren’t shooting in Staten Island like they did on Sex and the City. We’re shooting in the real Hamptons.” Snap! Hope to see you ladies at Dune! [E!]
WHO’S GOING TO REFILL YOUR WATER GLASSES AND CLEAN YOUR POOL? Courtesy the expiration of an immigration visa rule that exempted summer workers from caps, you can expect labor shortages this summer in the Hamptons. Which means those who do get through the border and to the East End can up their fee? [NYS]
If you’re already in the Hamptons before Memorial Day, you must be hot shit. But if you’re cruising through town in a 1967 Fiat BTM? You ‘da coolest!
Jerry Seinfeld sure thought he was, until his brakes gave out while pedaling through East Hampton, and his car flipped over and skidded to within yards of a highway. Amazingly, he walked away unscathed, and didn’t even stop by the hospital to sign autographs.
As you may have learned from the voicemail he left for his daughter, Alec Baldwin has mad yelling skills. So count him as the ringleader of Hamptons residents calling for the ouster of the Independent Newspaper Group editor Rick Murphy. Baldwin has been blogging about his feelings, but now he’s kicked it up a notch: He’s supporting public forums on the matter. Public! Forums!
Along with 60 other East End residents who held a town hall meeting over the weekend, Baldwin wants publisher Jerry Della Femina to get rid of the man behind that racist Barack Obama column, written by “Yo Mama Bin Barack,” in the Hamptons Independent.
But he won’t side with those who’ve been calling for a boycott of the newspaper, since that would hurt the families of innocent employees, when it’s only Murphy who deserves punishment.
Funny, then, that Baldwin didn’t mind hurting the TV-watching families of innocent Americans when he sided with the Writers Guild. Snap!
Dan Rattiner (of Dan’s Papers!) readies his autobiography for publication! The upcoming book entitled, “In the Hamptons: My 50 Years With the Fisherman, Farmers, Artists, Billionaires and Celebrities” is about (what else?) Dan’s life. “Each of its chapters will focus on a Hamptons experience he has had or a person he has met, he said, including celebrities such as George Plimpton and President Clinton, who served as umpire in a Hamptons artists-writers softball game when he was governor of Arkansas.” We expect to pop in somewhere around Chapter Three as, “The Angry Misfit Who Flipped Off The Hampton Jitney.”
• During the Bancrofts’ “not acrimonious at all” discussion regarding the potential sale of the Dow Jones corporation, “Christopher Bancroft entered the hotel wearing a ‘Bite Me’ fishing cap.” Touché.
• WSJ vet leaves paper after 22 years to join Portfolio, avoid working for Rupert Murdoch.
• Gossipy Hamptons rag Dan’s papers sold for enough money to buy a “pretty nice” house on Amagansett Lane.
• Wenner Media and Time Inc. promoted a bunch of lowly staffers who you’ve probably never heard of.
That Jitney ride putting a damper on your Hamptons weekend? Traffic too unruly that your desire to party at The Estate has suddenly disappeared? You’re in luck: U.S. Helicopter, which you know for ferrying your time mismanagement butt to JFK and back in 8 minute, now offers a 35 minute jaunt to East Hampton Airport. Cost? A mere $799 each way, which you can swallow in a half hour of bottle service alone.
Don’t you just hate it when you’re sitting in one of those hip (but totally laid back!) internet cafes in Williamsburg, sipping your chai tea with your unlaced Converse sneakers up on the thrift-store Ottoman, discussing Nietzsche and last night’s Modest Mouse concert with your dreadlocked unemployed neighbor,* when suddenly it hits you: time to hop on the L, stand with all those Manhattan posers, and catch the Jitney to your parents’ sick East Hampton pad?
Well, never fear! The Jitney is (finally) here, to cater to your oft over looked hipster/heiress needs.
As the NYO reports, the Hampton Jitney will commence making BK pickups later this year, thanks to the diligent efforts of Brooklyn borough president, Marty Markowitz. But how will free penthouse recipient, Natasha Agrawal, deal with this unfettered access to her parents’ Hamptons estate? With a Pucci swimsuit, oversized sunglasses and lots and lots of therapy.
*Who’s also a countess.
It’s be a rough week for celebrity photogs. Normally content to snap pictures of Paris Hilton cruising into Hyde as she sings along to her first single and chase Lindsay Lohan off the road, now they’re getting roughed up by their very subjects. Sure, celebs fighting with the paprazzi is nothing new (we’re pretty sure that’s how Justin Timberlake stayed busy in between records). But when, say, Woody Harrelson chokes a TMZ-employed photog – and it’s caught on tape – you’ve caught our interest.
Paparazzo-about-town Josh Levine was on the receiving end of Harrelson’s grip Thursday night outside Element in L.A.
As Harrelson left with three women and two men, Levine and other photogs began shooting. Harrelson became irritated and asked Levine to stop shooting. Harrelson then walked over to Levine, put his hand on the camera and asked Levine to stop. Levine said “All I’m doing is my job.” Harrelson, who appears in “A Prairie Home Companion,” then said, “I’ve asked you to stop, are you going to stop?” and Levine replied, “Not when you ask me like that.” The video then shows Harrelson break the camera and the picture goes dead.
TMZ obtained a second video, shot by another photog, showing the altercation. The photographer began shooting just as Harrelson grabbed Levine’s neck.
And over on our coast, the Daily News‘ John Roca – a staff photog, mind you, and not a paparazzo – was accosted by Jessica Simpson’s security manmeat when he broke out his camera to snap pics at Pink Elephant in Southampton.
Dressed in a plunging bustier, miniskirt and iridescent heels, Simpson, 25, was stretched out on a raised divan inside a prime cabana at the Pink Elephant in Southampton, L.I., when Roca approached and asked to photograph her.
“As she turned around, I hit her with a volley of shots. Before you could say ‘Madonna,’ four guys pounced on me,” Roca said.
Simpson’s protectors grabbed Roca’s camera - but not before he managed to pop out the memory card and stuff it in his pants pocket, he said. When one plunged his meaty fist into Roca’s Brooks Brothers duds to retrieve the card, he tore the seam of his pants, the photographer said.
Simpson’s talking head Rob Shuter blames Pink Elephant’s security for the roughing up, though it’s pretty clear it was Jessica’s heavies keeping her bloodshoot eyes out of the tabloids.
Harrelson Chokes TMZ Photog — LAPD Investigates [TMZ]
Dustup with Jess’ boys not a pretty picture for News fotog [George Rush and Jordan Lite, NYDN]
We were just forwarded this press which outlines Jeffry Rackover’s birthday party in Bridge Hampton. Who the fuck is that you ask? Oh, he’s a “jeweler to the stars.” Like you care.
Anyways, what we love absolutely most about this press release is not that it was sent instead of an invitation (we’re assuming — the release wasn’t actually sent to us!), nor the fact that it actual admits to having Britney Gastineu at the party.
What we love most about this press release, sent from Grubman PR (who else?) is the loving description is bestows on Hamptons queen and PR mogul, Lizzie Grubman herself.
At his birthday party on Saturday night he drew many Hampton socials and celebrities at his private residence in Bridge Hampton despite the horrible monsoon going on outside. Notable guests included, Lisa & Britney Gastineau, Rosanna Scotto, Loraine Bracco & Jason Cippola, supper model Samantha Tannehill, society dame Jane Pontarelli, and glowingly pregnant Lizzie Grubman & husband Chris Stern.
For more glowing Lizzie, go here — for rest of the nauseating information about the party you weren’t invited to, read on after the jump.
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Editorial Director
