Jann Wenner wasn't kidding about those desk inspections, folks.
This year, his need for clean not only plays into his anal conceptions of germs but, rather than hire a professional cleaning crew to prepare for the reality show cameras, he wants staffers to go all Mr. Clean on their workspaces.
From inside the walls of 1290 Sixth Avenue, where Rolling Stoners and Us Weekly staffers are slaving away aligning their paperclips, we've received this desk clean-up update.
TO: All Staff @ 1290
FR: Jann S. Wenner
As part of the office renovation, we are making a major effort to clean up and get rid of as much unnecessary clutter as possible. This is an excellent opportunity for you to clear out of your office or cubicle all the stuff that's just sitting around gathering dust. Take it home, store it away properly, throw it out... whatever is appropriate.
This is a full-scale clean up. Mary, Nelson and Rodney will visit each of you to offer assistance and/or guidance on specific policy.
The deadline to complete your clean up is THURSDAY, SEPTEMBER 1ST at which time Mary, Nelson and Rodney will provide me with a list of those I need to talk to in person.
Thank you for your cooperation.
And even if you're on holiday, you better make sure your August vacation wraps soon enough that your ass is back in the office with a Magic Eraser and some Fantastik Orange Action Cleaning Wipes.
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