Jann Wenner's Desk Inspections: Get your stapler in line, people
— Thu, Jul 28, 2005 —

Jann Wenner

It's that time of year again! Nope, not when Cathy Black thinks about starting a new weekly, but when Jann Wenner makes his annual desk inspections for all Wenner Media staffers.

Our Sixth Avenue correspondent writes in to explain the hell Rolling Stone and Us Weekly staffers are about to endure.

Here's how the process works: First, two weeks before the inspection, members of the office management team come through and make a note of desks and offices that probably won't pass inspection. Then, a few days later, another specially-appointed staff member comes through with detailed pointers on how those desks likely to fail inspection need to improve (e.g. "some of the items on your cork board are hanging below the divider line, some of the papers attached to your cube are overlapping, you have too many photos on your desk," etc.)

Afterwards, Jann's personal assistant Mary Mac comes by to inspect the offices of more senior staff whose clutter levels have been deemed excessive by the previous two task forces. She will continue to visit and re-inspect until everything is brought up to par. Finally, Jann will come through personally to inspect every desk and office. Those who fail Jann's inspection must repeat the whole process over again until he approves.

Personally, we'd rather submit ourselves to Bonnie Fuller and the pain of writing photo captions at Star. Though we do hope this makes his MTV reality show.

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