We’re all about charity here at Jossip. That’s why we give money in the tip jar at Starbucks and have partnered with Bid 2 Beat AIDS for their auction for the third straight year.

Today’s featured item, a poster of the Number 23 signed by Jim Carrey. The Number 23 reminds us of a more optimistic time. Jim Carrey showed remarkable emotional range in Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind. Virginia Madsen seemed posed to start a new career after Sideways. And yet 23 ended up being a movie about a guy who obsessed with Michael Jordan’s jersey number. Still, bid on it for the memories!

**Jossip has teamed up with the non-profit LIFEbeat and the Bid 2 Beat AIDS charity auction to raise awareness and provide support to the AIDS community. All funds generated go directly to LIFEbeat**

After yesterday’s stumper about the picture-perfect Hollywood couple, we weren’t sure if we even wanted to take a crack at today’s blind item. And yet, here it is!

Which pretty actress just chopped off her trademark blond locks because her increasingly erratic Hollywood funnyman-boyfriend didn’t like the feel of extensions?

But which blond bimbo could they be singling out? And who’s her slightly hair-phobic masked funnyman? Sigh. These unanswerable questions are just making us feel dumb and dumber by the day…

• Anderson Cooper may have not-cheated on that guy he’s not-sleeping with with another guy he’s not sleeping with. You know, because he’s not gay.

• Unfortunately for Demi Moore, there’s no statute of limitations on full frontal nudity.

• Hollywood’s new Rat Pack is less about drinking and having a good time and more about converting other rich people over to Scientology.

• Jim Carrey’s long, shaggy ‘do is out of control. Geez, it’s like he didn’t even bother to check himself out in Jenny McCarthy’s tacky-slash-reflective gold dress before he left the house.

• Isn’t it amazing what six whole weeks without cocaine can do for your cleavage??

• Stephon Marbury really, really likes kissing his sister, prompting a obsessed Ferris Bueller fan to pipe in with, “So, that’s how it it is in their family.”

• Rare pink dolphin spotted in Louisiana lake. Dolphin attributes his unusual skin color to a proliferation of red socks.

• Jim Carrey to play Ebineezer Scrooge in an upcoming big screen version of A Christmas Carol. Carrey’s stint as a grumpy, penny-pinching old miser is said to incite fear in small children and money grubbing Scientologists alike.

• If they wanted A Mighty Heart to flourish in urban areas, perhaps studio execs should have considered not casting a white actress in the role of Mariane Pearl.

• Surprisingly, the Paris Hilton rock opera is infinitely more watchable than her actual interview with Larry King.

• Local Fox News reporter suspended after crazy hate-rant that centered largely around the “n-bomb.”

“There will be no wedding…Goldie [Hawn] and Kurt [Russell] have it made, and that’s what we can strive for.”

McCarthy and Carrey, 45, who’ve been dating for more than a year, are both parents: He has a 19-year-old daughter, Jane, and she’s mom to 5-year-old Evan Joseph.

“I’m completely fine not having any more children,” she said Thursday. “I completely love mine, and I love giving him all of my attention.”

–Jenny McCarthy discusses being happily un-married, with children. [via People]

• Supposedly, there are pictures floating around showing Britney Spears to be (gasp!) an unfit mother. And when you’re done chewing on that, chew on these.

• Jim Carrey has given Jenny McCarthy cart blanche to bang Justin Timberlake, should the opportunity ever present itself.

• Is Gisele Bundchen pregnant or isn’t she? Either way, she looks totally hot on the cover of Vanity Fair!

• Mandy Moore may or may not have come to her senses and ditched DJ AM.

• Jimmy Kimmel can’t take credit for breaking Jared Leto’s nose. But he kinda wishes he could.

• Angelina Jolie foils kidnapping plot by convincing her would-be assailants that she’s “not nearly as attractive as she looks in the movies.”

• NBA player John Amaechi comes out, inspiring a crazy homophobic rant from former Indiana Pacers star, Tim Hardaway.

• Fabian Basabe is concerned that his DUI will interfere with his work schedule pathetic obsession with becoming famous.

• Daniel Baldwin has been getting the rich and famous rehab treatment despite being a huge financial burden to his family and only marginally famous.

• Meanwhile, a freshly rehabbed Lindsay Lohan has managed to incorporate threesomes into her road to recovery.

• Anna Nicole’s methadone-friendly doctor to officially rescind his Hippocratic Oath.

• Victoria Beckham can make the crazy-but-gorgeous Katie Holmes look lovely in March’s Harper’s Bazaar; but can she really design clothes for women with back-fat?

• Meanwhile, Jim Carrey’s slightly worried that he’ll become a couch-jumping Scientologist with no career.

• In between hitting touristy “hot-spots” and shopping for hideous Day-Glo hats, Britney’s been getting hammered and not tipping at Marquee.

• Oh, and Brit skipped Heatherette so as not to risk a run-in with Paris. And cause she didn’t feel like “bringing baby-fat back.”

• Jim Carrey and Jenny McCarthy are just like two crazy teens…except when they’re more like two crazy Scientologists.

• Tom Cruise reportedly spent 50K on a bed; Katie Holmes reportedly wonders, ‘yes, but when will I get to sleep in it?’

• Mary-Kate Olsen gets drunk, makes out with random guys at Bungalow. Related: Ashley Olsen relieved that MK has claimed the role of “slutty twin.”

• Are Naomi Watts and Liev Schreiber having a baby? Was it conceived during one of Schrieber’s infamous romps on the Staten Island ferry?

• American Idol boots one of its contestants for allegedly smoking the reefer. A drunk Paula Abdul slurs, “wait, so now we’re firing people for substance abuse?”

• Lindsay texts LC’s ex to tell him she wants sex and a Big Mac. Related: Brandon “Small-Fry” Davis still not getting any.

• Turns out Hillary Clinton is as good at stand-up comedy as she is at wearing pastel colored pants suits!

• Diddy takes five minutes out of his busy, party-hopping schedule to pretend to be a loving dad.

• Jason Giambi can take all the steroids he wants, but that still won’t prevent a a pipe from bursting. in his Upper East Side apartment. Or, you know, small testicles.

• It will take more than $25 million to get rid of Kevin Federline, who continues to be the annoying thorn in Britney Spear’s Hebraic side.

• In shocking news, it turns out that the always-crazy, future Scientologist Jim Carrey is “unpredictable” on set.

• Although Project Runway’s Tim Gunn is leaving the Parson’s School of Design, he vows to “make it work” and return to set next season.

• David Spade and Christina Applegate’s cast offs hook up.

• Richard Gere still blaming Sly Stallone for starting the “gerbil in the ass” rumor.

• Scientology begins to stalk J. Lo and J. Car.

• Fabian Basabe’s charges against former Bungalow 8 doorman Armin Amiri have been dropped by the DA. Something about “he made it up.”

• Lizzie Grubman popped.

• Rosie O’Donnell kicks it with republicans, pads their coffers.

• There were fags before T.R. Knight, Lance Bass, and Neil Patrick Harris, you know.

We know how confusing the whole Hollywood scene can be. Especially for New Yorkers. Trying to remember who reps who and which agency has split from which or merged with someone else … it can be more difficult that trying to keep track of who Paris Hilton is pretending not to sleep with.

But in today’s focus-on-Hollywood article (which is either about Jim Carrey leaving his agent, Hollywood agents splitting up, or why Ben Stiller and Vince Vaughn keep getting cast in horrible movies) the Times includes a very helpful Ven Diagram to explain to us removed New Yorkers exactly how things work.

Click to Enlarge

Unlike Entourage which only confuses us more with their Gold/Miller group – which is completely different from the one represented here – the diagrams really do help.

Just one thing: who gets to keep Jennifer Aniston?

Not So Funny Anymore [Sharon Waxman, New York Times]

• The only thing anyone walked away with from Anderson Cooper’s chat with Angelina Jolie? Zahara is jealous of Shiloh. That will probably be the story of this poor girl’s life. [People]

• But Britney Spears told Matt Lauer she needs Kevin Federline to hold her at night … maybe he just got lost on his way back to her room. [Scoop]

• Paris Hilton looks positively delighted to be wearing this PETA hoodie. Seriously, folks. She wants to stop wearing shoes made from baby seals. [TMZ]

• Ew. Ew, ew, ew, ew … ew. [Us Weekly]

• So, male movie stars are really fat now, and nobody seems to care. Hey, as long as we still have Adrain Grenier and Jake Gyllenhaal as sex symbols, we’ll take Vince Vaughn as the funny fatty. [NYO]