• Sports Illustrated knows it demographic and its fantasies. The magazine is running a spread with Heidi Klum all over Will Ferrell.
• The theme of the next issue of W magazine is beautiful women who overcome unflattering birthmarks on their face. The cover stars: Scarlett Johansson and Natalie Portman. CONTINUED »
• This classic SNL digital short prompted one of our college friends to say “[Natalie Portman] is the only Jewish girl I’d convert for.”
• Gary Kasparov blames Vladamir Putin for forcing him out of Russia’s presidential election, continues his one-man crusade to get gunned down by members of the KGB.
• Gawker is looking for a reporter with “an ability to write five short items a day.” Easiest job ever?
• “I Hucked Up” is officially the second-best Post headline of the day. Although we would have preferred “Huck Accuses Mormons, Romney Of Deal With The Devil.”
• GQ tries to cash in on the progressive artistic phenomenon known as “Flashy-Light Vagina.”
• Baseball: Not exactly America’s pastime anymore.
• That face transplant chick from France is looking hot. Well, compared with having no face.
• Lance Armstrong insults our intelligence (and makes us question his) by insisting he’s just friends with Ashley Olsen, and referring to her as a “nice, smart lady.”
• Spice Girls fill in for Kanye West at the Victoria’s Secret fashion show. Throughout the performance, Posh was overheard murmuring quietly to herself, “Th-th-that that don’t kill me. Will only make me stronger.”
• Meanwhile, Heidi Klum has altogether too much fun with her Bedazzler.
• Natalie Portman becomes the latest unattached celebrity to say she won’t get married until the gays do.
• TMZ: The doctor who “operated on Kanye West’s mom the day before she died” also left a sponge inside of another patient. And now there’s a warrant out for his arrest. Not that we’re directly accusing him of anything, mind you. But allegedly? He totally killed Mama West.
The Shins really did change Natalie Portman’s life.
Not too long ago, she was starting in a billion dollar movie franchise. Now she’s guest editing the upcoming issue Scholastic Math to promote her new movie, Mr. Magorium’s Wonder Emporium. One look at the trailer, you’ll be happy you don’t have kids.
Frankly, guest editing Scholastic Math is a fair punishment for starring in the Garden State. If there were any justice in this world, Zach Braff would have to deal with the Portfolio mess for the last scene of that movie.
• At a W magazine party honoring Jessica Simpson’s new stylist, Simpson commandeers the balcony and makes sure her security guards are there to protect her from the wayward glances of non-famous people.
• David Beckham is sidelined for the rest of the season; “NOOOOOO!” cries the LA Galaxy, everyone who bought non-refundable tickets.
• Not content with merely exploiting every solitary moment of Owen Wilson’s public breakdown, the mainstream media changes direction and focuses its attention on ruining the life of his equally famous brother, Luke.
• Certified MILF Bridget Moynahan takes her baby out for his semi-public debut, presumably, after dressing him in his coveted “Supermodel” onesie.
• Natalie Portman, seen through the eyes of a total pervert.
• Um, when did Claire Danes become such a total hottie?
• The next time Robin Williams goes on The Morning Show with Mike and Juliet, he might want to consider grabbing Juliet’s ass.
• Reactionary journalists over-analyze Barack Obama’s “frat moment.”
• If you spent the day standing outside in 100 degree heat for the chance to spend the bulk of your rent money on a cell phone, we probably can’t be friends anymore.
• Then again, if you are going to stand for hours in the scorching heat and steal a shiny, mechanical device, next time make it the iPhone and not a Fox News microphone. Idiot.
• If you’ve got self esteem issues, you should avoid probably try and avoid Natalie Portman.
• Of course Google is buying YouTube. Up next: Google will also buy Pepsi, the CW, and an African child. [Mediabistro]
• Mel Gibson’s publicist insists that he is completely sober and did not have a beer at a bar. Well, we didn’t hear any “f’in Jews” comments come out of his mouth, so we know he wasn’t drunk. [TMZ]
• Apparently Radar doesn’t find a problem with magazine journalists accepting free trips to Istanbul where they ride on yachts and drink champagne. And here we thought they were such media watchdogs. [Radar]
• Harper’s Bazaar really goes that extra mile by dressing Natalie Portman up as Audrey Hepburn. How did they ever come up with that? [AP]
• Shockingly, Pittsburgh loves Sienna Miller just as much as she loves them. They’ll probably start calling her “stupid whore.” (No, it doesn’t need to rhyme … they’re from Pittsburgh.) [Us]
• Natalie Portman is so brave. Especially since everyone in Isreal hates her for kissing on that wall. [Page Six]
• We bet $1200 Britney Spears hangs the glass chandelier over the baby’s crib, and it falls on it. [Scoop]
• Really, who doesn’t have a “Peter Sarsgaard saw my cooter” story? [Us]
• Foxy Brown pleads guilty to assault, then tries to change her answer. All of Chinatown went on a rollercoaster ride of emotions. [AP]
• Nascar will bring Kate Hudson and Chris Robinson together. How obvious was that? [Page Six]
• Natalie Portman is baring all for her new flick Goya’s Ghosts, but only because it’s arty. [Page Six]
• In between beachin’ it with Hard Rock Hotel & Casino heir Harry Morton, Lindsay Lohan inked a deal to be the new pimpled face of Proactiv. [E!]
• It’s the oldest tale in the book: Up-and-coming hip-hop artist signs record label deal. Artist wants to leave record deal. Artists buys himself out. Record label leaks entire album. [Gatecrasher]
• Just as Lil’ Kim is wrapping up her crime’s debt to society, Foxy Brown is only beginning hers. [Lowdown]
• Alec Baldwin will only do press if it makes him look like a loving father and husband. [Page Six]
• Lindsay Lohan can’t stop shopping! She is single handedly supporting our country’s commerce. [The Scoop]
• Pink is the New Blog celebrates its second birthday by chronicling the demise of Britney Spears. Really, is there any other way to celebrate a special occasion? [Pink is the New Blog]
• An amputee war veteran is suing Michael Moore … for eating his legs and then falsely portraying him in Fahrenheit 9/11 as a man left behind by the administration. [E!]
• Elizabeth Spiers is throwing a little soiree for her blog Dealbreaker. This even will mark the first ever blogger party full of rich straight guys. [Page Six]
• Jake Gyllenhaal’s latest rumored fling? Natalie Portman. Really, we just want to say, “finally!” These two hotties are so meant to be . (This may explain why we saw Kirsten Dunst looking quite drab and forlorn, smoking cigarettes outside an inconspicuous Nolita bar last night.) [People]
• Making fun of ugly people will always be funny. Especially when Jay Leno does it. [MSNBC]
• Because nobody can afford fun in the East Village anymore, young people are risking their lives in Bushwick — just so they can smoke inside and see a band. [NYT]
• Vanity Fair is apparently an authority on fashion these days. Fran Lebowitz? Really? [Page Six]
• “I don’t want to be working for money because then you are no different [from] a prostitute.” Natalie Portman on why paying rent is for whores. [The Scoop]
• Imagine that — David Bowie and Sting are opening a burlesque club together. Yeah, ok, we were pretty sure they already had one, too. [NYDN]
• Josh Hartnett would rather his little sister grow up and take her clothes off than look up to Lindsay Lohan. [Page Six]
• Kid Rock isn’t kidding himself — he knows his looks haven’t gotten him anywhere. [Page Six]
• The world welcomes yet another potential coked out prep school rich kid with the birth of baby boy Trump. [People]
• Why does Paris Hilton care if Stavros Niarchos is speaking Greek to his friends? It’s not like she understands when people have conversations in English. [MSNBC]
• Natalie Portman has every reason to dance around like a spaz. Even though Vanity Fair pulled her cover, people went to see V for Vandetta. [Hollywood Reporter]
Ok, before you get your panties in a bunch and start thinking that we’re heading towards some sick bikini wax joke, relax. We’re just here to rip on this USA Today headline. (And Natalie Portman a little.)
As if the whole “Natalie Portman bald chick” thing wasn’t so six months ago, this lame article about hanging out with the low profile celeb in The Mandarin Hotel is supposed to convey how bad-ass she is. How she’s a serious actor, who doesn’t do drugs, and had her head shaved in one scene shot, and loves her friends blah, blah.
And how do they convey this “not a pixie” image?
Portman is a pixie in a short-sleeved, dark blue frilly blouse, skintight jeans and silver ballerina flats, her eyes heavily made up for a day of press.
USA should’ve let Portman read the final copy. Her Harvard eyes may have snapped up that little snafu.
Portman’s bald truth: She’s no pixie [Donna Freydkin, USA TODAY]
Remember yesterday’s report about Natalie Portman dropping in on a Columbia University class to guest teach? Turns out professor Stuart Gottlieb and his Terrorism and Counterterrorism class was merely part of an “underground” publicty tour for her upcoming V For Vendetta orchestrated by MTU-U, MTV’s campus network.
Thankfully, there’s a student in attendance with a blog.
It turns out that Ms. Portman’s cameo in Professor Stuart Gottlieb’s Terrorism and Counterterrorism class was part of a MTV-U promotion for her latest flick, V for Vendetta, in which her character mounts a revolutionary campaign against a totalitarian government and generally blows shit up.
A sampling of the truths Ms. Portman imparted in the 20-minute Q&A session following a somber Frontline documentary on Al Qaeda, Guantanamo and the CIA’s counterterrorism tactics:
- “My immediate reaction is that torture is wrong.”
- “I don’t think it’s right to take down the Twin Towers.”
- “Censorship is bad.”
In other news, the Bwog suspects Ms. Portman and Prezbo share the same hair stylist. Her hair. never. moved.
Glad we’re reinforcing such commercial marketing values among our undergrad population. We hope Jonathan Antin has time in his schedule to lecture a Art History class on the importance of bangs in the 17th century Baroque era.
Breaking News: Natalie Portman at Columbia [The Bwog]
Earlier: Natalie Portman hands out gold stars at Columbia University
Straight off the success of her Saturday Night Live digital short (and straight off the success of NBC’s ability to pull it from YouTube), Natalie Portman’s continued her New York press tour with at stopover at – of all places – Columbia University. The V For Vendetta star’s classroom appearance on Monday is being labeled as a “stand-in professor” gig, where we imagine topics ranged from “How to shave your head without looking like a bull dyke” to “It doesn’t matter if your big budget movie performance was shitty; It’s all about the paycheck.”
The Cold Mountain star made quite an impression on students at Columbia University in New York when she went along to work as a stand-in professor on Monday. The pretty performer is no stranger to the goings-on of a college campus, however, as she studied for her own qualification at Harvard between 1999 and 2003.
Casually dressed in blue jeans and a loose-fitting top, Natalie looked rather less intimidating than her shaven-headed character in latest movie offering V For Vendetta. The actress, who says people took her for a troublemaker while she was sporting the skinhead look, has since grown her brunette locks back.
With Mary-Kate and Ashley Olsen effectively abandoning New York University’s campus, it’s the least Hollywood can do for academia in lil’ ole New York. Now, with midterms coming up, expect Kiera Knightley to stop by CUNY to discuss Scarlett Johansson’s pasty ass and Emma Watson to drop in on Marymount for a lecture on binge drinking.
With Natalie Portman as the peg, Andy Sandberg and Chris Parnell strike again. No, Saturday Night Live isn’t yet worth watching again. Luckily, there’s YouTube.
• Natalie Portman saves Vanity Fair from a Sheryl Crow/Lance Armstrong cover. [WWD]
• Halle Berry’s got herself a brand new (super hot) bag. [People]
• Are they serious? Julia Louis Dreyfus is trying for another TV show? [B&C]
• Celebrities have issues with all the free shit they get? Yeah, right! We remember Sundance. [NYT]
• Maybe Bruce Willis went to meet up with his new BFF James Frey after leaving Pre:Post last night. [Page Six]
• Paris Hilton doesn’t just go number one. [Hollywood Tuna]
• Attention all wanna be gay boys age 10-18. Here’s your chance to get the shit kicked out of you in dodgeball. [Queerty]
• The ultimate Cosmo girl is going to have the most rockin’ sweet 16 evah. Then she’s going to open her mommy’s magazine and learn all about how to give great head. [Gawker]
• Reese Witherspoon isn’t the only one involved in a Golden Globes “vintage” dress “scandal” — so is Nataline Portman. And somehow Kirsten Dunst is, yet again, involved. [A Socialite’s Life]
• Suburban women in middle America love them some hot cowboy action. Watch out, Chicago, the cast is coming to Oprah. [Newsweek]
• It’s damn hard to concentrate with those paparazzi stalking your ass. Especially if your Lindsay Lohan, and have coke induced ADD already. [OAN]
• And that Colin Farell thing is still up (pun intended). What was that Mayor Ray Nagin was saying about a delicious drink? [Colin Farrell Sex Tape]
• It’s still not clear whether SNL will have her back, so Ashlee Simpson is taking her platinum-selling voice and acid reflux soother to Oprah’s set.
• The reason for Hilary Duff’s horse teeth veneers? Years of chipping her teeth of mics during performances, at least if you believe the “World Entertainment News Network.”
• After a two week search, 16-year-old actress Scout Taylor-Compton has been found .. shacked up at a bloke’s house.
• Even though filming for their The Break Up has wrapped, Jennifer Aniston and Vince Vaughn are still playing the part of romantic partners.
• When not sporting a shaved head, Natalie Portman takes her anger out on a delayed V For Vendetta opening by donning a mohawk.
• The MPAA voted in Tom Hanks as its vice president, clearing the path for Steven Spielberg’s Oscar cleanup.
• After Jennifer Aniston’s hair was all the rage on Friends, at long last Lisa Kudrow’s do is getting its do on The Comeback.
• Surprise! People who read blogs are also more likely to buy your goods.
• A judge ordered Courtney Love into rehab after her sobbing confession that she violated terms of her parole by getting high. His honor’s mission? Letting Love hit rock bottom. Meanwhile, the Kurt Cobain widow is reportedly pregnant with actor Steve Coogan’s child. We’re sure that fetus will turn out nicely.
• It’s splitsville for sitcom hopeful Jenny McCarthy and her husband of six years, John Asher. No word on how the divorcing duo will be splitting custody of their children or her breasts.
• Take you and your “Marcia Cross is a lesbian” rumors and stick ‘em back in your double-wide. The Desperate Housewives vixen accepted a marriage proposal from boyfriend Tom Mahoney. We hear they’ll be donning matching tuxedos.
• You’ll have to wait a little longer for Natalie Portman’s shaved head, as her V For Vendetta flic that features a London Underground bombing has been postposted from November to March 2006 in reaction to the real-life terror attack.
• Talk shower Joe Franklin is ruminating on whether to file a lawsuit against The Aristocrats for funny lady Sarah Silverman’s that he raped her.
• Olivia Newton-John continues her search for long-time boyfriend Patrick Kim McDermott, who might follow right behind Natalee Holloway in cable news coverage.
Editorial Director
