Landlords try to out-Jew the 2nd Ave Deli
After a week filled with the highs of Lindsay Lohan's error proof testing, and the lows of the media's error filled reporting, we had planned on spending Saturday afternoon on Second Avenue, stuffing our heeb faces with kosher deli sandwiches, coffee, and deli pickles.
Then we hear that our beloved Second Avenue Deli is totally dunzo. We were really upset. But you know what? Al Goldstein, the ex-pornographer who was given a job as a greeter, and then fired for living in the basement, was super bummed.
"I have not eaten so well since I lived with my mom," said Mr. Goldstein...a noted gourmand until a recent stomach-stapling operation, [he] declared the deli's shuttering "almost as sad as the closing of Chock Full O' Nuts."
Yeah, Chock Full O' Nuts was a real neigbhorhood staple. Even though it smells and tastes like ass, and wasn't founded by a Holocaust survivor who fed the (fat, porno making) homeless until he was murdered in broad daylight. You know, we're not sure if the nut stand actually really closed because we live in Brooklyn, but ... yeah, Chock Full O' Nuts closing was totally worse.
As long as they don't close au bon pain, though. Because there would be nowhere left to eat in the East Village.
Hold the Mustard, Maybe Forever [Andy Newman, NYT]