Gag gift of a person Victoria Beckham has admitted to dating 80s movie star Corey Haim way back in 1995, before he was selling his teeth and before she was unsalvageable. But, the Spice Girl says she did not have sexual relations with that teen heartthrob.
That’s what Washington City Paper Angela Valdez is asking to mostly deaf ears. The National Enquirer ran with a story about CBS star Lara Logan having Baghdad romances with CNN’s Michael Ware and U.S. State Department contractor Joe Burkett, and the New York Post picked it up from there. The story even made it to Howard Kurtz’s CNN show Reliable Sources (video here), where he played Jossip’s favorite game: Cover the gossip by reporting on the coverage of the gossip, and asking whether we should be reporting on this at all. Well, perhaps somebody like Kurtz shouldn’t be wasting air time with it, but the Enquirer has a history of reporting on our news men and women; it just so happens that Logan’s story involves sex, with multiple partners, and she’s a pretty lady. So should we be upset by it? Maybe — it’s likely Logan got heavier treatment because she’s a woman, while plenty of male on-air sex trysts go unreported. But also: She’s a high-paid attractive public figure who brought together the words “sex” and “Iraq” for the first time since this war began, and shouldn’t the gossip industry be celebrated for that?
Is it gay or European? CONTINUED »
The advertising agency Saatchi & Saatchi won a Cannes Bronze Lion this week for this 60-second J.C. Penny spot. So very clever, viewers concluded! The ad, which features a teen boy and girl timing themselves as they get dressed and undressed, then lying to the girl’s parents about what they planned on doing in the basement, might, to some, encourage teen sex. Racy! Which is why, in fact, J.C. Penny never approved the ad — and expected it to die on the cutting room floor. It didn’t, and S&S submitted it to Cannes. Now, execs at the retailer are, supposedly, furious over the spot and the attention its getting, which is the reaction any responsible mega-corp would need to have. Except if said execs are actually any good at their job, they’re going to put their feet on their desks and congratulate themselves over the endless brand impressions they received from all the free publicity and their ability to come across as hip to the teen market they so desperately court, all while maintaining deniability.
If you want to listen to the abridged audio version of Barbara Walters’ over-hyped memoir, you can forget about hearing one thing in particular: moaning coming from the upstairs bedroom. That’s because the five-disc, six-hour spoken edition of Audition cuts out the most talked about talking points: “None of her romantic relationships outside of her three marriages — not even the most-publicized revelation from the book, her secret romance with former Massachusetts Senator (and then married) Edward Brooke — are anywhere to be found.” Some readers (listeners?) might view this as the publisher cheating consumers out of the most interesting, raunchy details of the TV vet’s life, but don’t go crying to them; they’re standing by their “abridged means edited” excuse. And Cindi Berger, Walter’s publicist, says that her client “approved the abridged version of the book,” but just didn’t feel the love stuff was important enough to include. “The focus was just to be about her work,” Berger explains. “The men in her life was not her priority.” Somebody should have told her endless publicity tour that.
Dov Charney, the founder of American Apparel and centerpiece of endless charges about a sexified work environment, including the five instances that ended up with sexual harassment lawsuits, probably could have chosen anything but the product pictured here to stock at is stores. But rather than release a track jacket in a new color, he opted to begin selling the Hitachi Magic Wand (also available online!). As most Sex and the City viewers will note, personal massagers like this one, often sold at Brookstone or the Sharper Image store (is that even still around?), are less tools for everyday stress relief than instruments for getting off. That Mr. Charney would choose to carry these items in his stores, then, should be of little surprise to on-lookers: He has a history of masturbating in front of others. Re-live that scenario, below. CONTINUED »
Because the web magazine Slate must take all of its cues from what others are talking about in the mainstream media – though, of course, that’s how every website works – and then argue the opposite of general norms, they’ve latched on to yesterday’s Wall Street Journal article about Muslim women having their hymen’s reconstructed so they can marry as “virgins.” (To be fair, the Times latched on to it to, and then wrote its own piece.)
You know how many in the West would frown on this practice, seeing the Islamic requirement that women be pure on their wedding day tantamount to anything from sexism to civil rights abuse? Not Slate’s William Saletan! (Yes, that William Saletan.) CONTINUED »
The titles on this listicle of the “10 Most Terrifying Guides to Sex” will probably not make it on to anybody’s summer beach reading list, but how can you ignore a compilation that includes Make Your Own Sex Toys, How to be the Best Lover: A Guide for Teenage Boys, and the most cleverly titled, A Hand in the Bush: The Fine Art of Vaginal Fisting. For some reason, almost none of these books are available to peek at using Amazon’s Search Inside feature, though Sex in the Golden Years is available on the Kindle. How curious.
60 Minutes correspondent Leslie Stahl, who, like Liz Smith, has refashioned herself into a lady advice disher on spam-friendly WOWOWOWOWOWOWOW.COMOCOMOCOMOCOM, now finds it appropriate to go offline with her oversharing: “DID Lesley Stahl crack an inappropriate sex joke during her commencement speech at Jesuit-run Loyola College? A witness tells us the “60 Minutes” correspondent jolted the crowd of proud moms and dads last weekend by using the word “pusillanimous,” adding that it “doesn’t have anything to do with p - - - y.” (The word means lacking in courage). Stahl claimed through a CBS spokesman she actually said “pussycat.” An excerpt from her speech posted on Loyola’s Web site doesn’t include the contested remark. Asked to clarify what Stahl said, a Loyala rep told us, “We have no interest in commenting.” She declined to release the rest of the tape.” [P6]
Gruesomely, this isn’t the first time we’ve had to hear about Stahl and sex. CONTINUED »
Continuing our earlier conversation about sex in advertisements, let’s revisit those Cabana Cachaca spots.
At left, another spot from the “model wearing no clothes” campaign. At right (top and bottom), screenshots from a television commercial for Electrolux appliances, where Kelly Ripa is the spokeswoman.
As the Cachaca print campaign might suggest, the target demographic is men: Wealthy types who imagine themselves rolling into a club with a bevy of models, sitting down at their reserved table, and, oooh, there’s a bottle of Cabana Cachaca waiting for them. These are the people you hate, unless you are one of them. Then you pretend you’re not one of them, and hate them even more.
Anyhow.
Now, the TV ad on the right. (View it here.) At first glance, you might just see a series of attractive men appearing in the doorway during spot, but the dialogue, which is trying to sell you a stainless steel oven, is barely overt:
“Just because a woman is single doesn’t mean she doesn’t understand the right appliances can help you find your McHottie. Like my friend, the cupcake queen. She’s in a position in life that’s a single woman’s fantasy. She lives in a building filled with hot guys. And they all have a thing for her cupcakes. Then again, she does have the Electrolux Double Wall Oven; it bakes tons of cupcakes perfectly. So you see, if you have the right appliances, they’ll be after your cupcakes all night.”
The difference? Cabana Cachaca is throwing sex in your face. Ripa’s Electrolux ad is merely replacing “pussy” with “cupcakes.” And that’s more acceptable. CONTINUED »
Sad news for drunk frat boys needing a laugh in the middle of the night and prude housewives everywhere: Seventy-seven-year-old Sue Johanson is wrapping up her sixth and final season of Talk Sex on Oxygen this Sunday, quite possibly ending her 32-year television run.
Johanson insists she isn’t being pushed out, but the sale of Oxygen from Oprah Winfrey & Co. to NBC Universal is plausibly at the root of things.
Fittingly, her final show will be a countdown of the year’s top 10 sex toys. Below, a classic Sue clip. CONTINUED »
In Barbara Walters, we see a woman who refuses to imagine what the end of her career might look like. Which is why she felt perfectly comfortable hitting up Oprah, to plug her book Audition: A Memoir, to reveal she carried on an affair with Massachusetts’ married republican senator, Edward W. Brooke, in the 1970s, after meeting in a New York restaurant. She wouldn’t want to go out on this note, would she?
The affair ended when Washington Post gossip Maxine Cheshire started running items about the twosome; Walters says that’s when she ended the relationship, though that’s also when Brooke asked his wife for a divorce. But for the good of their careers, they stopped seeing each other.
“Ed Brooke was simply the most attractive, sexiest, funniest, charming, and impossible man,” writes Walters. “I was excited, fascinated, intrigued, and infatuated.”
Every reporter’s attempt to get comment from Brooke, who is now 88, have failed, which, uh, might suggest he has no interest in discussing his decades-old tryst. Kudos to Walters, then, for throwing him under the bus to move copies of the book.
Jimi Hendrix joins the lengthy list of celebrities with sex tapes on the market. And the good folks at Vivid Entertainment have even posted a trailer of the tape (perhaps NSFW), which includes testimonials from women who have slept with him verifying that the penis you see in the video belongs to the rock legend. In this era of questionable authenticity, we appreciate the extra effort.
Posing topless in a magazine known for exploiting attractive females who have Hollywood projects to push is probably not the best way to maintain your $1 billion wholesome image. But Miley Cyrus went ahead and stripped down for Vanity Fair anyhow — and then apologized for exposing her 15-year-old body in seductive poses, almost certainly at the behest of Disney, which has probably branded her in the one place Miley didn’t expose to the camera lens.
Not that this is the first time Miley’s private side has been shown to the world.
After 45 Internet years late to the debate, the notorious overreactors at the Parents Television Council, who like to hear the sound of their own voice more than we, are complaining about Gossip Girl’s rampant use of explicit sexual imagery and tweenage acronyms. The “sexually suggestive photo showing a teenage boy kissing a girl’s cleavage” in the ads, as well as the use of the phrase “OMFG,” is much too much for PTC. The whole campaign is just a “deliberate use of profanity and sexual imagery to exploit and further corrupt young viewers, and has warned its members about the show and the new ad campaign.” As for the show itself? It’s “the most-watched show among girls 12-17 and glamorizes casual sex and drug use among teens. Storylines have featured a would-be teen rapist, threesome among teens, and teenage girls having sex with adults.” WHICH IS WHAT MAKES IT AWESOME.
Is this one of the most inappropriate government logos ever? Though it’s unlikely to become the official branding for the U.K.’s Office of Government Commerce now that its X-rated factor has been determined, it did make it through the final rounds. So why will it be, um, revised? CONTINUED »
The arrest of Richard Quest didn’t just reveal the CNN anchor was holding (he volunteered to cops he was holding a baggy of meth), but also that he had a rope around his neck tied to his genitals, and a big ‘ole dong in his boot, because WHERE ELSE WOULD YOU KEEP IT?
The New York Post says “It wasn’t immediately clear what the rope was for,” so let’s clear things up for you, and share exactly why someone might wear a rope tied like this (possibly NSFW) … CONTINUED »
Counting men and women, swings-both-ways Liz Smith has slept with twenty people. “But what’s the ratio of women to men,” you didn’t hear yourself asking? CONTINUED »
Perhaps you’ve seen the homepage takeover for Gossip Girl … that you’re staring at right now? Turns out, it’s sort of racy! Because The CW’s marketing team decided to add the “F” in the common Internet slang “OMG,” the message when from “Oh My God” to “Oh My Fucking God,” which is dicey! That means family-friendly media rejected the campaign: Entertainment Weekly, In Touch, Soap Opera Digest, TV Guide, and People all said no to the “OMFG” version, even though all of these magazines, perhaps with the exception of Digest, have talked about Heidi Montag at one time or another, and what’s more offensive to readers than that? No matter: The CW had campaign spots ready to go sans the “F,” which was deemed more acceptable. Not for us, of course.
Mary Roach, author of the new book Bonk: The Curious Coupling of Science and Sex, knows the printed page can’t really communicate what it means to have sex. Turns out the penis doesn’t dock to the cervix! Which is why she, and her husband, volunteered to be the first people to have their intercourse recorded in 4-D via ultrasound. Not quite sure what the fourth dimension is (time? pleasure?) but the whole thing is a little creepy, especially when it appears on Slate V, which is where we’re used to seeing Dear Prudence advice letters acted out with clip art. Skip to the 2:57 for close ups of what appears to be a bladder being pushed up on.
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