When we heard on Friday that Rolling Stone publisher Steve DeLuca "left" the magazine, we automatically assumed it was due to the pressure of keeping his pencils perfectly lined up.

It seems as though we were wrong — not only about the pencils part, but about the "leaving" part, too. A former employee tipped us off to the fact that DeLuca didn't just leave, he was actually fired at the end of the day.

Some say it's because the advertising numbers for the upcoming 1000th issue didn't look high enough ... some say it is also in part due to the fact that he couldn't stop using his position to bed every Asian chick who crossed his path (or at least trying).

Ok, since we already know how not to get fired from the Washington Post, let us now focus on how not to get fired from Rolling Stone:

Don't make a mess, don't have affairs with your co-workers, and definitely don't hook up with Asian chicks.

Also, do your best not to go near Jann Wenner at a party. (Not only will that last one help you keep your job, but it also might save you from having to show Jann your boobs.)