Tinsley Mortimer 17953
• Tinsley Mortimer attempts to prove she's almost-famous by manipulating her way into the realm of disposable celeb weeklies.
• According to Sister 2 Sister magazine (our fave!) Michael Jackson is the best father Blanket ever had.
• Arnold Schwarzenegger asserts his manhood by ousting maternity maven, Liz Lange, then taunting her by chewing with his mouth open.
• "The Year of Magical Thinking" gets a rave from the NYT! Oh, and by "the NYT," we actually mean anonymous online messageboard poster "Daniel7353."
• Jon Stewart commends Nancy Grace for her fair and unbiased coverage of the Duke Lacrosse players.
• Matthew McConaughey roughs it by living in a trailer valued higher than your rich neighbor's trust fund.
• Gina Glockson inexplicably loses out to her skanky, bug-eyed and well-coiffed competitors.
• Quentin Tarantino made out with four lovely ladies at Butter. Which is, admittedly, a huge step up from hitting on MTV interns at the premiere of My Super Ex-Girlfriend.
• Between her crappy reality TV series and her (presumably) crappy upcoming memoirs, L'il Kim's 5 minutes in prison could turn out to be the best thing that ever happened to her!
• Tinsley Mortimer and Chloe Sevigny BFF? Tins possibly being enlightened on what it's really like to go down on Vincent Gallo?
• George Clooney confuses lemonade stand with Starbucks, spends $20 quenching his thirst.
There are two on-the-scene types whose party report filings we dutifully read. The first is every-position-ever-cum-Forbes-scribe James Brady. The second is the Observer's Spencer Morgan, who took off to L.A. (joining nearly every other New York gossip) for an all-out Oscar sock hop. From the Independent Spirit Awards bash at Shutters and the BlackBook party to Entertainment Weekly's Al Gore lovefest and, of course, Graydon Carter's Vanity Fair event, there was lots to cover.
So how come the only thing we can focus on is what Tinsley Mortimer said?CONTINUED »
Not content to merely soak up the publicity lauded on her from SocialiteRank.com, Tinsley Mortimer is bringing on the heavies to find out who's behind the anonymously-penned privileged set chronicle. She's reportedly hired a private investigator to unmask the purveyors, even though the Tinz is regularly placed atop its weekly rankings of social climbers. Sure, taking the top spot brings with it plenty of criticism, but it's also help boost her into a classy version of Paris Hilton's limelight. With all the speculation about who's behind the site – Derek Blasberg, Lyle Maltz, Bonnie Morrison, and "anyone who has anything to do with R. Couri Hay" – it's also worth noting how much attention the blog has received. And certainly such an accomplishment takes a well-tenured publicist. Or a Brooke Astor hopeful in training.
• Lindsay Lohan finds herself involved in another paparazzi car crash, but at least she's picking new locations. And outfits.
• Faith Hill's manager plays damage control following the singer's on-camera freak out when Carrie Underwood took home the Female Vocalist award.
• Tinsley Mortimer & Co. face off for a chance to star in a new series about the lives they lead in real life.
• Britney Spears is not as dumb as her David Letterman appearances portray her to be: She filed for divorce just in time to keep a clause in her prenup from giving Kevin Federline more cash.
When socialites get together for gossip, tongues wag and whispers hiss. And when they get together to talk about Tinsley Mortimer, well, let's just say thing can tend to get pretty vicious. And not just in that "she's a bitch" kind of way ... but also in the "I have no clue how not to sound like a racist WASP" kind of way.
New York reports that the Tins' new gig as "the face of Tokyo" has some of the glitterati in New York in a bit of a twitch.
???I heard the last time she went over there to promote these bags, there were hordes of Japanese people crying and screaming her name. She???s bigger than Paris Hilton or Scarlett Johansson to them.??? Apparently, ???she has that iconic blonde look that the Japanese market loves,??? says her friend Eleanor Ylvisaker. Not everyone???s been supportive. ???I heard people are calling her ???Tins-ree??? behind her back now,??? said a socialite.
Wow. We're sure Vera Wang and Peter Som are just dying to design some new gowns for the totally PC members of the elite inner circle.
Tinsley Mortimer Exported to Japan [Molly Friedman, New York Magazine]
• Tinsley Mortimer may be an elite among some circles, but she is definitely not a celeb. Proven by the fact that she showed up in the same dress as Eva Mendes and they threw Tins in a porta-potti and made her change. [Lowdown]
• Tech nerds everywhere are crying into their Magic cards. Lonely Girl will be famous and they will still be lonely boys. [NYT]
• Michael Musto explains why the Lower East Side is great, forgets that nobody goes to Katz's anymore. Hello, there's LoSide. [Page Six]
• CNN's Robert Thomas, explains that he came out of the closet very slowly. Maybe tomorrow, Anderson Cooper will mention his good friend Julio on the air. [Gay.com]
• Oh, boy. Lindsay Lohan, even if it is all the work of Photoshop, just keep your legs closed so nobody has to see it. [Mollygood]
We are about to enter "phase one" of New York magazine's total take-over of the Internet. Before you know it, virtual Look Book people are going to sit on your couch and start rolling joint and painting birds or something. But before we get to that, Adam Moss is starting with Fashion Week. And you can play, too!
Beginning Sept. 8, reports and photos from the shows and around the Bryant Park tents will be collected on nymag.com. Users can group their favorite designs in a photo album, then share their books with other nymag.com visitors.
But it doesn't end there. Celeb socialites like Tinsley Mortimer and Melania Trump will share their fave photos and designs, too. And haven't you always wanted the Tins' input on something before you continue with your day?
The only thing we think is sort of cool in regards to "phase one" is the "create your own Approval Matrix" section. Not only do we predict a daily Choire Sicha creation, but we've always wanted the chance to put Tinsley on the "despicable highbrow" sector of the Matrix.
INTERACTIVE RUNWAY [Stephanie D. Smith, WWD]
When "Social Rank" first came out, listing socialites in order of importance (the Tins at the top, Jessica Joffe somewhere near the bottom) we had a good belly laugh. Then, we sort of forgot about the social rankers for awhile. Until we got the notice that they moved to socialiterank.com. So, of course, we had to check again.
And man are they full of some good tips. Take today's feature, for example, on how not to end up like Tori Spelling. The top five ways to preserve your money and dignity and never look poor include "be nice to people" and "go to the Learning Annex." But our favorite tip on how not to look poor is by far number 5: "don't look poor."
Designers are any socialite???s necessity. You wouldn???t believe how many socialites are actually on the poverty level by real blue-blood standards. But their relationship with fashion houses and racks of borrowed clothes dictate the opposite. Suck up to the designers, drop by their studios, bring them food and never physically look poor.
Those poor, poor impoverished socialites. It's really gotten pretty bad. Some of them are even working. And wearing Banana Republic! What's the world coming to?
Top Five Ways to Avoid a Tori-Like Money Disaster [Socialite Rank]
When the sun kissed gods of Miami grace New York City with their presence, and we're invited, we hardly decline. And because the opportunity to skip dozens of people in line still thrills us, we trekked up to Marquee last night to celebrate the special New York issue of Ocean Drive.
Admittedly, we were there half as press and half as party goers, but we made every attempt to contact the hosts of the party. The host list which read like a who's who of SoHo House, promised such socialites and scenesters as Patrick McMullan, Tinsely Mortimer, Jonathan Cheban, and Michael Musto. Oh, and we were told Maer Roshan would be there too.
Yet, when we arrived at the Ocean Drive party section of the club, there wasn't even a PR person to be found. And while we're definite fans of Michael Musto, he played the role of "stand in the corner and don't talk to people host." No Tins, no Patrick ... not even Peter Davis made an appearance.
We did, however, find Hilary Duff sitting in another corner, surrounded by friends and of course her sister Hailey, and being blocked by her bodyguard. Who was allowed to smoke inside. When we tried to talk to her, she looked at us, looked at her bouncer, and we were quickly shooed away by the very, very large man. And despite the help of Ben Widdicombe, we were unable to locate a Maer Roshan or a single Radar-lite among the sea of clubbers.
Somewhat disappointing — we were promised the Tins, we got the Duffs — but nothing a few mojitos and random hotties from Denmark couldn't cure.
A Jossip reader is quite concerned that we may have jeopardized our access to the booze which flows freely from Paper magazine parties.
Peter Davis, socialite reporter and one-man Tinsley Mortimer press machine extraordinaire, backs Paper. And since we insist on prying into the journalistic motives of this elite media and society member, well, we risk being blacklisted from the Paper scene.
Paper gives good parties - read: lots of free booze - and P. [Peter] Davis is a backer of Paper. Didn't you know he was loaded? It's Davis as in the "Davis Cup," a tennis to-do founded by his great-great-something (uncle? grandfather?). If you don't beieve me, just look at his signet ring.
We are flattered that our reader is so concerned — especially because he insinuates that this coverage in some way makes braver than our peers who choose to ignore this socialite on socialite dry hump in order to maintain their open bar access. (We think that it's just because nobody else really cares.) Either way, fear not.
If a Paper party worth attending comes along, and we are left without an invite, we will simply crash. If only to ask Peter Davis if he will please put photos of us on Patrick McMullan in exchange for more favorable coverage on our blog.
We think we have found a new topic of fascination here at Jossip: socialite reporter Peter Davis. (In addition, we also love the term "socialite reporter" and are going to start throwing it around the way Davis throws around his sister-in-law's name to get writing assignments.)
After his New York Times "Socialite Boys" story, which favorably featured his boyfriend/arm candy Christian Leone, we thought it was pretty funny/pathetic that he thought maybe nobody would notice. But then we realized his preferential writing style, not to mention personal climb up the social Himalayas of New York, didn't end there. He's wiggled into the Mortimer clan, writes about Tinsley Mortimer for every magazine including Fashion Week Daily, and went to college with Jared Paul Stern.
Davis also trumps up more ink for Leone in Avenue Magazine, that uptown real-estate cum socialite rag that rich people get in their doorman buildings. In his Avenue column this month, Davis snaps a photo of a smiling Leone and also of his family: socialites sisters-in-law Tinsley Mortimer and Dabney Mercer replete with glowing mentions of what they are wearing.
If, in fact, the rumors are true (Avenue has not yet returned calls or e-mails) it is quite interesting that Davis is not only talking up his family, but also trying to score a few point with his editors by glowing over them in the Times
"People have their pose down," Mr. Leone said, watching as Mr. Saffir grinned for the cameras with yet another woman, Debbie Bancroft, a society columnist for Avenue magazine.
The next morning, many of those images appeared on the Web site of the photographer Patrick McMullan, and perhaps would later show up in the party pages of glossies like Quest, Avenue, Vogue, Gotham and W. The site patrickmcmullan.com has page after page of pictures of men about town (578 for Mr. Saffir) or, for lack of a better term, male socialites.
So do you think the Times should also include an editor's note on how he works for Debbie Bancroft and that he himself appears on Patrick McMullan's site more than MisShapes end up on Last Night's Party?
Our tipsters full e-mail, stuffed with amazing "I heard" quotes and tons of "elitists suck" sarc, after the jump.CONTINUED »
Maybe this is just how things work in the wonderful world of socialite elitist types, and we just don't get it ... but we like to think we get things. And what we get from this is that Peter Davis is more of a PR/publicist type that a journalist.
Because our readers are better investigators than half the journos out there, they are always uncovering these strange unknown connections. Especially, for some reason, when it comes to Peter Davis. As of yesterday, we knew approximately two things about Davis: 1) He wrote a New York Times articles about how super special his "It Boy" boyfriend is, and 2) He went to college with Jared Paul Stern. Now, we can add a third fun Davis fact to that list.
Did you know also that Peter Davis is socialite Tinsley Mortimer's brother in law?
Actually, we didn't know that. Very interesting. So we did a smidgen of research on it, and found that yes, his sister married into the the Mortimer family.
I LOVE this photo I took of the Mortimer clan: longtime PAPER editor Peter Davis (who incidentally was one of PAPER's first interns about twenty years ago!!!) flanked by his sister (right) Minnie Mortimer and his sister-in-law (left) Tinsley Mortimer. Cute family portrait, no? Meanwhile, I also snapped Peter's handsome brother, Topper (left above), with Anne Slater at Heatherette. What a quirky and fabulous dynasty.
Big deal, right? So Davis really wants to be one of these "on the scene" type journalists. We can relate. But we think it's funny that he isn't just related to the Tins, he also writes about her and the fab clan (pictured) for Fashion Week Daily.
At a Lyn Devon party, he accomplished the amazing feat of "spotting" the people he showed up with:
The guest list at Devon????????s show ran like a who????????s who of chicettes. We spotted Tinsley Mortimer (in Zac Posen), Minnie Mortimer (just back from the West Indies), Jessica Joffe, Jill Kargman, Allison Aston ...
Then he snagged those hard to land "what are you doing for Easter" interviews, and somehow got his sister-in-law to spill to him. (All you really need to know is that she's doing nothing except eating peeps and wearing Manolos.)
Maybe it isn't the biggest deal in the world, but somehow a Paper editor and Times writer being paid to promote his own socialite clan by inserting photos and dreadfully boring interviews with their ring leader seems a little ... self promotional? Dishonest? Elitist?
Well, at least it's Ethics in Journalism Week ... and Peter Davis is making sure we're not left disappointed.
Related: DYNASTY [Paper Magazine Blog]
• Nothing says "wake up with a warm cup" than a steaming pile of shit that looks like a coffee cup. New York advertisers are getting really desperate to reach you jaded freaks. [Gothamist]
• The graffiti isn't just annoying and hard to read ... it is actually eating the subway trains. [NYT]
• A very scientific method of figuring out which people to avoid at all possible costs. [Social Rank]
• Don't listen to Mayor Bloomberg. He doesn't realize how important it is for you to wast time reading blogs. [NYDN]
• Times Square adopts the most loved thing in Brooklyn, Junior's Cheesecake. This borough is really running out of cute little indie things. [OTBKB]