Breaking: Lindsay Lohan has a fake-tan mustache!

Or, as our younger brother puts it, "When the disgusting chemical bath you call 'sunless tanner' begins to collect around your mouth, you don’t look refreshed after a weekend in the Caribbean, you look like a dirty toddler with a juice addiction. Jesus. Stop it."

Looks like someone has another chemical dependency problem! Click here for the disturbing photographic evidence.