Aw, cute! Hallmark Magazine is currently thriving in a veritable print depression, while every other magazine has cut corners. Rolling Stone is left scratching it's head and shrinking its size while circulation for Hallmark is expected to rise by another 100,000 units this year to bring in a total of 800,000 readers (double of what the mag started with in 2006). So why is a magazine that doesn't even put human beings on the cover all the time bitchslapping the competition? Several theories from the people that work there:

—Bible Belt Base: The Hallmark brand is marketed less towards the East and West coasts — where an oversaturated market means both New York and The New Yorker can exist — and instead at the Midwest. Read; down-home narratives and Reader Digest-esque articles. As Hallmark's editor Lisa Benenson summed it up nicely, “We don’t do diets; we don’t do sex stories.” (And yet somehow readership is increasing, keep in mind.)

—Brand Recognition: Perhaps you heard, Hallmark owns more than a magazine. Much like Oprah's O, The Oprah Magazine, advertisers who buy space in Hallmark might also find themselves enjoying the fruits of the company's television network, Hallmark stores, and having a Crayola color named after them. Plus there's that little thing called a "customer database," which you're probably on if you ever bought a Mother's Day card.

—Consistency, Consistency, Consistency (or: Location, Location, Location): Hallmark's own advertising gimmick this year — sending greeting cards to potential clients … brill! — was thought up by the same mad men they've had on staff for the last 25 years. That firm, Muller, Bressler & Brown, is also located in Kansas City, the same place as Hallmark's headquarters. So the Hallmark brand remains visibly colloquial and homey (see point 1) while expanding their client base and opportunities for revenue.

With such promise, then, expect former magazine publisher Rachael Ray to do more than slap her name on dog food. The maybe terrorist will soon have her own line of greeting cards. But hers will be slightly different to fit her engaging personality.