Get ready to ingest the cyanide capsules you were given complimentary with the purchase The Hills box set: Heidi Montag and Spencer Pratt, the debatable "stars" of the show, want to get married on live television. Wish you hadn't heard that? Then go back to sleep and pretend its all some terrible, terrible dream, wrought forth because of last night's season four premiere. Then wake the hell back up because the future Mr. and Mrs. Pratt want to broadcast their fake-love in the most tacky way possible.

Of course, this has been their plan all along. As recently as May, Montag was on Us Weekly laying the groundwork for their reality wedding. And nothing this twosome gets involved with happens without a reality camera crew.

If there was any conceivable way these two could invite the paparazzi into Heidi's womb when she inevitably gets knocked up, you know they would be all over it. We have it on good authority they're already trying.