The Hello Kitty shoulder massager-turned-sex toy (that reportedly "sold like crazy" in adult shops across the country and left numerous denizens asking purveyors at Babeland and pervs on ebay for the "Hello Kitty vibrator") has finally returned! Two years after being discontinued, the "portable massager, featuring a pink or black shaft and a handle in the shape of a kitten with a matching hair bow" (but is totally not a pocket-rocket!) is being reintroduced in Japan.

Meanwhile, the boring vice president of marketing for Sanrio’s American division continues to deny the phallus-shaped massager's more risque applications: "I have no idea what people may have used it for. The product was marketed as a shoulder massager. That’s what it was sold as."

Whatever helps you sleep at night, lady! Or, depending on your purview—and use of the Sanrio licensed stress reliever—not.