Oh, New York!

Home to scalliwags, hoodlums and people who glamorize living in rat-infested lofts. It’s really quite spectacular.

After the jump, intern Anastasia indulges her New York loving side with a romanticized dissection of city living. But not everything’s hunky dory, of course, like - wait for it - “misplaced” anger at hipsters.

Yeah, we were shocked, too.

From The Author: Yeah, I know—this is hardly a timely response to that Times article on the McKibbin “dorms.” Whatever, like, I totally had finals last week! Also, making fun of white kids in Bushwick is evergreen. Just read the damn thing.

I became acquainted with the lofts this past summer, when a friend of mine moved into 255 McKibbin (suck it, 248!). Here’s what, in my experience, the Times got right, what they got wrong, and what they should have mentioned but didn’t:

Right: There really are rooms that are “in all, perhaps 25 feet,” with “plywood walls but no doors, only cut-out windows.” My friend’s room was just like this—it was also too small to stand up in, even though neither of us is over 5’4”. She paid $500 a month for that.

And the first half of this quote: “You don’t have to leave this building, with the exception of food. I don’t really speak to the locals.” In addition to shows and potential hook-ups, you could get all your drugs at McKibbin! I remember the first time my friend’s roommates called their guy, and then literally walked across the hallway to pick their stuff up. (Actually, you could sort of get food there too, because someone used to run a McKibbin-only grilled cheese delivery service.).

Wrong: pretty much everything else. First of all, I don’t remember anyone calling it “the McKibbin,” that’s like saying “the Google” unironically. And not everyone has bedbugs, and I never smelled piss in the hallways. People smoked in the hallway, but then you had to throw your butts in the trash. It wasn’t like Animal House all the time.

And the second half of that quote, about not “speaking to the locals.” Okay, my friend and I didn’t really talk to them, either, but we would at least have been ashamed to say that to a reporter. (Also, I hear the “locals” call themselves “Boricuas!” Be impressed with my token knowledge of Spanish!).

What they should have mentioned: The view of the Manhattan skyline from the roof is pretty awesome, and you can get a six-pack of Yuengling at the corner bodega for $6. It makes up for living in a “doghouse.”

There were also downsides they didn’t mention. No one really has any idea who lives there, so if you look like someone who does (white, under 25, dying of starvation), people will hold open the front door, and the doors on individual floors, for you. So it’s not especially secure. Also, it’s impossible to buy curtains for those huge loft windows, which is annoying when you’ve stayed up until 6a.m. being a hipster cliché, and are afraid of sunlight.

And on a sincere note: I get that the kind of people who reside at McKibbin can seem pretentious, but I think the animosity directed towards them and “hipsters” in general is misplaced. They’re not the ones gentrifying Bushwick—that’s the fault of real estate developers. It’s not like poor college graduates with student loan debts are dying for overpriced condos to go up.

Also, obviously there are race/class issues involved, like they’re still connected, but the solution to that is not making fun of 22-year-olds in tight pants. Of course, I’m too lazy to do anything about those problems because of my massive “Millenial” sense of entitlement, but someone should do something