ESPN truly is, as TVWeek writes, "pulling out all the stops" for David Beckham's debut as a member of the Los Angeles Galaxy on Saturday, July 21. The network's efforts include an extended edition of SportsCenter, an ET special entitled "David Beckham: New Beginnings," a half-hour pregame show and the game itself, to be broadcast on ESPN with the help of 19 cameras, featuring "Skycam, super slo-mo cameras and robotic goal cams," not to mention a "Beckham cam," and additional coverage on ESPNSoccernet.com and ESPNNews.

In fact, with all the aforementioned measures (not so subtly designed to milk this historical moment for all its worth) ESPN seems to have forgotten only one thing, namely: Americans hate soccer.

Which is why we'll be spending the evening washing our hair and ogling Victoria Beckham's B-cups on the highlight reel.