Did you know that Hillary Clinton wants to be the first female president? That’s right, Hillary Clinton is a woman, not a man, and if you have two X chromosomes, you should consider voting for her. Not just because she’s also a woman, but because she understands what it’s like to be a woman.

But this isn’t a race about firsts. Don’t go there, Barack. Seriously. This is a race of who is the most qualified to lead this great nation. Hillary Clinton can bring her experience of reaching across the aisle and of having her uterine lining shed to the White House. Are there any greater qualifications?

To make sure that women everywhere know that Hillary Clinton, a woman, is running for president, she has bought an hour of programming on the Hallmark Channel on the eve of Super Tuesday for an estimated $500,000. While Hallmark isn’t Lifetime or even Oxygen, the last time a man watched the Hallmark channel was during the great Where is The Remote? crisis of '06.

This will give Hillary a chance to reach out to other female voters, who should know that Hillary cares about such pressing economic issues like that the Victoria Secret sale only occurs twice a year.

And by the way Barack, don’t take this idea to BET. This isn’t a contest about race or gender.

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