Based on population numbers from 2006, New York City's six Starbucks closures will affect 1,369,071 per shuttered store. In Los Angeles, it's 1,924,689. Careful with your math there: The higher the number, the less it'll impact you.

Poor Orange Grove, Florida, then; three Starbucks are closing in a town of 9,106, or one for every 3,035 people.

So, are you really going to miss your neighborhood latte fix? Slate wants you to write a freakin' testimonial for it. Indeed, Starbucks obituaries.