Beijing Olympics time, you guys! Which means the greatest challenge facing Americans is upon us: Do we TiVo Weeds for later so we can catch the last bastion of American hope in the games — the virile Michael Phelps — go for eight gold medals in swimming, or watch it live and wait for the results to be posted online?

Growing out of 2004's Athens Games, Phelps quickly became the U.S. poster child for athletic greatness; he appeared on, we're guessing, 213 magazine covers, signed on to promote Visa, PowerBar, and Speedo, then virtually disappeared — only to be trumpeted out a few months ago, and have his manhood digitally erased, as the marketing machine known as American Pride began prepping for today, August 8, 2008, when everything is on the line.

Yes, everything. American bragging rights. A resurrected skirmish with Big China. And, while we're at it, the future of NBC.

At a time when speculation is running rampant that General Electric is looking to unload profit stain NBC, the Olympics are said to be Jeff Zucker's last chance at proving his unit is worth holding on to. So far, he's on the right track: With 3,600 hours of televised programming across NBC Universal's networks, Zucker & Co. surpassed the $1 billion mark in ad sales.

But much of those ad dollars are contingent on viewership. Media buyers aren't writing NBC cheques without the network guaranteeing certain ratings levels. (Thus, NBC's "TAMI," or Total Audience Measurement Index.) Which means, while the Olympics can be expected to ratchet up some 40-60 million viewers at a time, NBC is working overtime to keep viewer interest high — and never peaking.

And that's wear Phelps comes in.

Whether voluntarily or not, he's become the face of NBC's Olympics coverage. A lean, muscular swimmer whose Speedo always seems to be half down his ass, Phelps is a brand that NBC is betting on. That's why NBC's devoted an entire campaign called "8 Reasons to Watch Michael Phelps in Beijing," though none of the answers include "gold medals No. 1 through 8." (Instead, the reasons include desperate conceits like "his mustache" and "he'll be too old to do it again next time.")

It doesn't hurt that Phelps is young and good-looking, but it's an awful lot for NBC to put their hopes on.

Which is why there are alternates. Not alternates like "they can compete if Phelps gets injured," but alternates like "they can contribute some of the publicity heat if Phelps isn't enough."

The roster includes folks like 41-year-old and soon-to-be five-time Olympic competitor Dara Torres and, up until the past few days, the wonder boys known as the Hamm twins. Sadly, Paul and Morgan both had to drop out of the 2008 games because of injuries, and neither is expected to compete in the Olympics ever again. It's sad for fans and the U.S. team, sure, but just as worrisome to NBC, which had high ratings hopes for these two proven stars.

So does the future of NBC really rest on Phelps? No. But in the metaphorical sense, yes: They've bet the farm, and $894 million in broadcast licensing fees, on the guy, and his Olympics performance may very well forshadow what happens to NBC after the closing ceremonies.