In yesterday's New York Times, both CollegeHumor.com, a website for retired frat guys looking to kill time at the $120,000-starting i-banker jobs, and the Onion News Network, a faux video news title, got the profile treatment. How fitting, then, that a newspaper so focused on short attention spans and inventing truths is the same newspaper that both Newsweek and the New York Post claim Mayor Michael Bloomberg is eying for a possible purchase, BECAUSE THAT MAN CAN BUY WHATEVER HE WANTS. It's all thanks to a Michael Wolff suggestion, in Vanity Fair, that Bloomberg do just that.

The theory of a Bloomberg-owned Times has its doubters. Those that should also be on the list of disbelievers: Newsweek.

In NEWSWEEK interviews last week, a member of Bloomberg's inner circle confirmed that the mayor's confidants and closest associates are, in fact, encouraging him to explore the idea.

So we've got one guy, from Bloomberg's "inner circle," saying his "confidants and closest associates" (aren't those people part of his inner circle) "encouraging" him to "explore" the possibility of buying the Times?

That same information, gleaned from interviews, could also be interpreted this way: "Somebody walking through the office muttered 'Bloomberg should by the Times' under his breath."