Hungry? Why wait? Especially since the food being offered at the Olympic venues apparently sucked so bad that Snickers became the number two chocolate bar in China this quarter, either for lack of better options, the fact that Chinese officials kept visitors away from the Olympic Green, or following a deal chocolate maker Mars signed to make the deliciously nutty snack the official chocolate of the Beijing Games.

Snickers, known over there as "Shilijia," has been around in China for the last fifteen years, but it took the giant marketing tie-in of the games for the Chinese to come around on the junk-food. Or rather, it took the build up to the giant marketing tie-in to get the Chinese on the road toward the ambitious goal of obesity.

The game plan for introducing the East to a snack that costs about half of what the average Chinese teen spends a day? Only a little gimmick that definitely wouldn't fly in the U.S.

Earlier this year, Mars hosted a Snickers Street Olympics tournament in Beijing of "hybrid sports" events like Basoccer, a mix of basketball and soccer with trash cans for goals, and Streetminton, a combination of badminton and break dancing.

Also offered was Snickers Jump Satisfaction, an event in which participants jumped over as many Snickers bars as possible to win them. Mars offered tickets to the real Olympic Games as prizes.

Cute! Clever! Genius! But it sure as hell would never work here!

Americans love corporate sponsored contests as much as the next guy, and there is that Red Bull flying machine contest every year to get kids out of their houses, but America's youth are more interested in getting their corporate exercise by playing Rock Band and finding viral video endorsements on YouTube. Going outside to participate in made-up sports? They barely go outside to participate in real sports.

But at least our fatness has plateaued. So there's that.