Are you a poor coward who likes to get drunk? If so, you probably shouldn’t be buying alcohol, but that’s certainly not going to stop booze company admen from directly targeting your demographic with their fine, destructive product. Allow us to introduce the wine tube, a grownup version of those fun-ass Mind Eraser vials they sell in Cancun. A two-ounce container of merlot (chardonnay, whatever), the wine tube is made specifically for the consumer who doesn’t know their claret from their beaujolais and is too broke to buy a bottle on spec. WineSide, the machine behind the wine tubes, says they don’t want customers to feel “daunted” when buying wine, and they’ll be selling the wands individually or by box. Remember when boxes of tubes of wine used to be called bottles?
In related “Crappy Bottled Things” news, water baron Evian is set to release a product called “Brumisateur sprays,” which one sprays on their face and body when one “just can’t get out of bed.” Use them after too many tubes of wine. Or when you’re a stupid person!
Editorial Director
Good product.I saw some millionaires’ positive reaction on it at “millionaireromances . com” It does make sense.
Good product, except my former obese lover Kelly Stagg has genital herpes and gave it to me too! Help!
The Evian sprays are far from new - they’ve been around for years. I guess they could be seen as frivolous but I love them! I keep one at my desk - super refreshing.
Drop the anti-alcohol agenda… it makes you look desperate.
JILL ISKANIAN, STOP WRITING AS EVERYONE BUT YOURSELF. AS YOU HAVE TOLD ME BEFORE COUNTLESS TIMES, NOBODY READS JOSSIP ANYWAY! THIS HAS BEEN PRINTED OUT AND FORWARDED TO THE AUSA MARK KRAUS AND FBI AGENT DENNIS WEBSTER. I WONDER IF THEY WILL LET YOU HAVE INTERNET ACCESS IN JAIL, JILL ISHKANIAN! MAYBE IT’S DIFFERENT FOR HACKERS. I WONDER WHAT FRASER ROSS OF KITSON IS GOING TO SAY WHEN HE GETS CALLED TO TESTIFY BEFORE THE GRAND JURY. I AM SURE HE WILL TELL THE TRUTH LIKE THE REST OF US. CAN’T YOU JUST MOVE ON? CAN’T YOU JUST GET A LIFE? I WILL NOT STOOP TO YOUR LEVEL OF DOING WHAT EVER YOU CAN TO RUIN OTHERS LIVES LIKE YOU TRIED TO DO WITH POOR KEN BAKER. THAT POOR MAN AND HIS FAMILY WERE STALKED AND HARRASSED BY YOU FOR YEARS. LOOK AT HIM NOW! HE IS HAPPY AND SUCCESSFUL! BY THE WAY I HOPE THAT THERE ARE SO MANY GRAMATICAL ERRORS IN THIS POST THAT IT SENDS YOU STRAIGHT TO THE LOONIE BIN WHERE YOU BELONG.