Just who is this publicist named Susan Bass who's been the one feeding soundbites to the press about canine foe Michael Vick? We've inquired around town, and nobody seems to know much about her. She's not listed on WhoRepresents.com, and the barely respectable amount of research we performed online points to Glue Inc., an entertainment (and sports?) marketing agency. Somebody keep us from picking up the phone again.

Update: We'll be the first to admit, we're stupid. Susan is the Atlanta Falcons vice president of communications and talking out of her ass (a job she's held for about four years), relays someone with at least a grade schooler's understanding of how to use Google. But don't let this lesson go untaught: People in sports PR are stupid, too, if we rely on them to answer these type of questions and they respond with "???" emails. Stupids.