In Oprah Reputation Resurrection(tm) Part 1, Tom Cruise Suffers for Your Sympathy

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You will look back on today's momentous occasion – the one-for-the-history-books return of Tom Cruise to Oprah – and think of but one thing: Tom Cruise is a victim! Everybody has been out to get this cultist zealot, and all those jokes about him brainwashing Katie Holmes and inseminating her with L. Ron Hubbard's semen have been entirely unfair to him and his family. It takes the power of Oprah to set the record straight, even if that's where he shed his veil of normalcy to begin with. So let's get to the defensive mechanisms:

• On being a Scientologist: "It's a minority religion, and I think that sometimes people misinterpret [it]."

• On hiding baby Suri for three whole months before exploiting her in Vanity Fair: "Kate and I didn't feel any need to [rush] it. We said, 'Why? It's our family.' We just were on Suri time."

• On his marriage contract with Katie Holmes: ""That's laughable to me. You just know that they're trying to sell it and spin it."

• On whether Suri is an alien: "She really is just magic."

[Us]

May 2, 2008 · posted by david · Link · 7 Responses
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  • Comments (7)

    No. 1 Thecookie says:

    These Sweeps stunts reduce Oprah to being just, well, common.
    No creativity there
    http://lifeisacookie.wordpress...../02/whore/

    Posted: May 2, 2008 at 1:04 pm
    No. 2 initiatedsean441 says:

    yup, she's gotta be pretty hard up to contribute to this spin job

    Posted: May 2, 2008 at 3:22 pm
    No. 3 anon1970 says:

    Oprah and Tom have failed. Oprah shold really be ashamed of herself!

    Posted: May 2, 2008 at 7:32 pm
    No. 4 lily says:

    Hopefully, as Tom's appearance on Oprah was the start of his unraveling, is it too much to hope that this will be the unraveling of Oprah and her mini van majority can finally see her for the fraud and egotistical fake bitch that she is.

    Posted: May 3, 2008 at 12:33 am
    No. 5 Coco-Cocks-Arquette says:

    ALL THE OPRAH HATE…

    Are people jealous?? So Oprah should be jealous of bring Tom Cruise on her show? Why? Because he jumped on her chair once?

    Stupidity - stupidity - stupidity…

    Posted: May 4, 2008 at 2:01 pm
    No. 6 Coco-Cocks-Arquette says:

    oops, I meant to say why Oprah should be ashamed of bringing Cruise on her show?? Why??

    Posted: May 4, 2008 at 2:03 pm
    No. 7 fiona says:

    This interview is total damage control courtesy of Oprah. His answers were so heavily edited that once again he appears less than forthcoming. The scenery was lovely, makes me glad to be able to zip down to Telluride any time I want. So I will watch the second half to see if he drops any pearls in front of my snout. Now off to my trough.

    Posted: May 5, 2008 at 12:07 am
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