Infidel George Clooney Wants to Make Osama's Driver a Star
Salim Hamdan was just sentenced to five and half years for chauffeuring Osama bin Laden through McDonald's drive-thrus, or whatever the Afghani equivalent is, while he plotted the 9/11 attacks. Hamdan has been holed up in Guantanamo Bay for over five years without a trial, so he's actually eligible for release in five months, although Bush & Co. have threatened to hold him indefinitely after he has served him time. The media has been all over the story because 1) Not every programming minute can be filled by the Olympics; and 2) It potentially sets a precedent for suspected terrorists to receive something looking like a fair trial.
ANYWAY, this story has been blasted to death, but is not dead yet! Much like Oliver Stone's treatment of the Bush dynasty in W, Hamden's story has been optioned for film a little too soon for comfort. Like, jeez, this story has been around for five years but has only gained momentum in the last month or so, which is right around the time that hunky leading man and bad motorcyclist George Clooney bought the rights to The Challenge, journalist Jonathan Mahler's tale of the indicted Yemenite. Can't we let the headline cool, and its effects settle in, before ripping it into a feature?
Hollywood has a history of diving into the cineplex pool so quickly after terrorism news. Remember September 11? That shit-show was followed up with the 2002 documentary 9/11, which led to Michael Moore's docu-something Fahrenheit 9/11 in 2004, and then 2006 gave way to both United 93 and World Trade Center.
Sure, Clooney just bought the rights to the Challenge, so it could be another couple years before we see anything from it (unless, like W, it becomes a rush job in time for the elections). And by then, Hamden may already be released.
But in trying to churn out a newsworthy feature, Clooney is inviting all the stupid political implications about liberals in Hollywood.
Just look at the Los Angeles Times' blog, which brings word of his new project: "Obama backer George Clooney plans a movie on Osama bin Laden???s driver." Linking Obama and Osama certainly might make things sound more sensational, but a movie about the guy who chauffeured a terrorist around should be enough. But it isn't. Sorry Clooney.
Can George Clooney take a hint and leave the politics to the real politicians? Sheesh.
Nah… he just wanted to give Barry Hussein some foreign policy advice!