Although we can’t always shake the nasty habit of writing in the royal we, occasionally one of our editors decides to shake off the cloak of anonymity to write a short, pithy statement long, rambling diatribe about a topic of their choice. Today, Debbie Newman is that editor.

This just in: The Yankees' adulterous third baseman (and this year's league MVP) Alex Rodriguez is arrogant, greedy and not particularly well liked by the New York fans or working media.

Worse still, he recently opted out of his contract with the Yanks AND disingenuously said things like "I love New York" while simultaneously fielding offers from all over the country. Plus, this one time? Prior to joining the Yanks? He said something way harsh about Derek Jeter "never [having] had to lead" before. Which, according to columnist-turned-baseball aficionado Jon Friedman, just may have helped spur on their rivalry.

Even crazier? Despite how much we've learned from this informative recycled news piece in today's Marketwatch, we're still not convinced that this article serves any actual, utilitarian purpose. That is, other than being generally irksome and reflecting only a marginal understanding of the subject at hand.

But we couldn't help but wonder: How exactly does one go about writing an utterly useless piece of sports commentary? It turns out, it's a rather complex, multi-step procedure! First and foremost, you'll want to make sure the only conceivable news hook is Rodriguez's re-upping with the Yanks (which, incidentally, would hardly be classified as "breaking news.") Secondly, you'll need to bolster your article with inexcusable prose like this:

When [A-Rod] should just shut up in a time of stress, he is out there yakking, giving interviews, pontificating and inflaming brush fires into conflagrations. I don't know why he wants to cultivate a reputation as baseball's Most Verbose Player, too.*

And thirdly, you might consider picking a title ("MVP Alex Rodriguez Flunks Media Relations 101, Again") that's neither particularly clever nor apt in light of everything that's transpired.

Look, no one's disputing that Rodriguez has been sort of a goober in his dealings with the press throughout his career. (Case in point, waiting until just before the start of the final game in the World Series to announce that he was opting out of his contract). But, as we saw last week, A-Rod's subsequent decision to crawl back to the Yanks was, undoubtedly, the smartest move he ever made.

And sure, insiders understood it was really motivated by pure, unadulterated greed and the belated realization that no one else in baseball had either the bankroll or the motivation to even match the Yankees' exorbitant contract renewal offer. But in an uncharacteristically deft PR move, A-Rod managed to swiftly blame the entire contract debacle on his soulless sports agent, and even managed to reaffirm his commitment to New York (and prove what a stand-up guy he was) by accepting a significantly lower contract than the Yanks' original offer. And that after the Yanks new manager Joe Girardi (and his defacto boss, Hal Steinbrenner) played hardball, and swore up and down that they had zero intention of even negotiating if A-Rod opted out.

So does that make Alex Rodriguez disingenuous? Perhaps. But, more importantly, it means he's finally figured out how harness the power of the press and manipulate it to work in his favor. And nothing says "home run off the field" quite like tricking impressionable young fans into believing that a player banking $27 million is actually here for love of the game.

Which, as far as we're concerned, ought to be good for at least a C+/B-.

*Right back at ya, Jon.