Sears' most recent ad campaign of a High School Musical collection failed to attract the coveted macho (but still letting mom pick out their shirts) demographic. To counteract the prissiness, the brand has signed a deal with the U.S. Army that will allow the insignia of the troops to be placed on civilian apparel for the first time, making it even easier for teens in the Midwest to jump from mallrat to Iraqi target, since shooting guns and driving SUVs around in baggy pants is the same no matter what continent you're on. And Generation Kill made it look like so much fun.

Usually the impetus for joining the Army has something to do with patriotism or financial straits; turning it into a fashion statement is diabolically genius in a way only mid-range affordable department stores can be. (By the way, that sound you hear isn't gunshots, but the noise Chico's executives make as they vigorously slap their hands to their foreheads for not thinking of the idea first.)

Hey, at least it's for a good cause: Money from the "authentic lifestyle reinterpretations" line will go towards Sears' "Heroes at Home" program, which provides house renovations to military families. For a down payment of $11.99 today, you can get a return investment as soon as your kid goes off to war, dies, and leaves you with a broken home. Success!