• Jessica Simpson and John Mayer are splitsville again. Which explains Jess' recent, post-breakup loungewear fiasco.

• Hostel director Eli Roth frightens us with his giant, prosthetic penis.

• Jenna Elfman is surprisingly cool! Except for that whole 'Crazy "Scientologist' thing.

• "Reclusive novelist [Cormac McCarthy] appears on Oprah." Related: J.D. Salinger promptly questions McCarthy's so-called reclusivity; subsequently declares him to be a "phony" instead.

• David Blaine versus Criss Angel: who has the bigger magic wand?

• No one knows their real estate like oversized-sunglasses wearing Mary-Kate Olsen. Also, apparently, the New Yorker has gone tabloid.