• John McCain may not have called Hillary a bitch per se, but did concede that she’s a venerable opponent whom he greatly admires…and one day hopes to crush.

• Barry Diller desperately endeavors to buy AOL, completely forgets that it’s no longer 1999.

• “People often say that writing about style is just a way to report on the really wealthy,” observes Alex Kuczynski, “but I try to write about the populace, not just the elite.” Whatever helps you sleep at night, Alex.

• Howard Dean finally acknowledges that Jews can go to heaven, a concession that might have proven more useful to him approximately four years ago.

• Drunken elephants are left in Paris Hilton’s care. Is there no end to what this woman gives back?

• Kanye’s mom may have ignored doctor’s advice leading up to her surgery. His response? “You tell me you ain’t did it, then you ain’t did it. And if you did, then that’s family business.” So true!