• Is crazypants pop star Britney Spears more likable than Supreme Court Justice Clarence Thomas? Possibly! says this disturbing article in the New Republic.

• Will Smith proves that Phili natives with negligible rapping skills can make their way onto the Hollywood Walk of Fame.

• Jennifer Lopez reminds us all that while money can’t buy love, it can buy you the experience of watching your newborn baby poop all over an elegant cashmere onesie.

• Crisis! The days of free porn might be numbered! Related: You utter a disingenuous sigh of disgust and then totally click this link as soon as your boss isn’t looking.

• Lonely tech nerd proves to have preternatural affinity for chocolate.

• Thieves burgle Charlize Theron’s mansion; the overhyped Academy Award was reportedly not listed among the stolen “valuables.”