• Kirstie Alley is going to launch her own weight-loss brand. Insert joke about fat women here.

• The new Dancing With The Stars "stars" leave some wattage to be desired.

• The Baltimore Sun will launch a youth aimed tabloid. Because that's just that city needs: More trash.

• "Who stuffs Armani better?," a Queerty poll.

• The audacity of hope sneezes: Barack Obama has a cold.

• Martha Stewart takes over Emeril Lagasse. The people in PR will have to figure out how to incorporate "Bam!" with "a good thing" without getting vulgar.