• A letter to the editor of the New Yorker is a little self-serious, even for the New Yorker. Turns out that nice image above is scientifically impossible. Also, that cat would totally get trampled.

• Lesbian hands look like straight women's hands, only a little more wrinkly.

• Even with all the real-life spoilers, the extended season of The Hills looks really good.

• Shocker: The Gene Simmons sex tape is gross. That said, his lady friend is quite flexible.

• No American should idolize Paula Abdul after her new video. See what we did?

• Pink keeps up the pretense that divorce isn't heart-wrenching. You know, she's doing it for the kids. What a role model.