• “Scientology is not homophobic in any way,” scoffs John Travolta. “In fact, it’s one of the more tolerant faiths. Anyone’s accepted,” says Travolta, who hastily added, “Well, as long as they’ve got money.”

• The countdown until the Libby pardon continues! Have you entered your office pool, yet?

• Nicole Kidman takes shelter under her umbrella, Ella. Ella. Ey, ey—oh, nevermind.

• No longer content to make crappy music in only one genre, Kelly Clarkson signs with a new, country music manager.

• Sir Elton John exhibits the typical, understated British civility.

• Isaiah Washington’s back in the news, and we don’t care.