• Jack Nicholson continues to live the dream. Assuming "the dream" is sitting on a boat, with your gut hanging out, while stuffing your face with pizza.

• More trampy girls make videos about presidential candidates they know anything about.

• Nope, Brandon Davis isn't dead—just sweaty and disgusting.

• Michael Richards enjoys the company of Maddox's lost family, far away from those tacky N-word people.

• Turns out Perez has a raging case of repressed fat guy anger.

• Ever dream about living next door to Diana Ross? For $39.5 million, Mel Gibson can make it happen.

• Condoms…they never worked so well.