• Isaiah Washington hates fags, but likes to be in TV shows that cater to them.

• Too bad this paparazzo only got his ass kicked by a B-list TV star, instead of hitting the Lindsay Lohan jackpot.

• If we have to hear one more conversation about Harry Potter, we're going to slap your grown up ass all the way back to where it belongs: elementary school.

• Defending yourself against child molestation is, like, totally expensive!

• Local Fox News reporter Andrea Robinson gets a live on-air proposal! Which is totally romantic, and we'd totally congratulate her, except we totally changed the channel back to Dawson's Creek before Robinson gave her answer.

• In a perfect world we'd be able to order IHOP funnel cake and Applebee's Nachos.

• Christopher Walken totally wants John Travolta's titties. Oops, we mean "Edna's."