From People: "Jessica Simpson Turns Down 'Porn Star' Role." 'We were promised we would win an Oscar with that,' says father-manager-idiot Joe Simpson. "I was like, 'Eh, we'll just buy a [statue of a] little man and keep our clothes on.'"

• Backstreet's back… again.

• We hear intergalactic travel is so much better when you're wasted.

• We always felt bad for the youngest son on Home Improvement. Twelve years later, we still do.

• O.J. Simpson's maybe, sorta confessional is now available…at a home computer near you.

• ALLLLVIN- Was this not the worst idea ever?