• Introducing "Die Hard: The Puppet Musical." Picture Avenue Q without the whole "gay is happiness" message, plus John McClain. And lots of guns.

• Dammit, Lindsay, if you don't sweep the floors tonight we're gonna have to cut off your supply of Beef Jerky and Gatorade again!

• Breaking: L.A. Studio City building smells like "poo!" Which is to say, "slightly worse than how everything in L.A. usually smells."

• The new and improved Elle magazine is both "prettier" and markedly less annoying, despite the fact that Lindsay Lohan is on the cover.

• Reason #239 why interning for Karl Rove can never lead to anything good.

• Brit's former assistant Shannon Funk denies OK!'s lesbian romp rumors, making us wonder if (sometimes!) paying excessively for stories doesn't guarantee factual information.