• The lead singer of Maroon Five denies ever saying that tennis hottie Maria Sharapova was a "double-fault" in bed.

• As usual, the Times is quick to weigh in with an already-reported scoop on Wikipedia.

• Keira Knightley's anorexic yearnings revealed!

• Dog-killer Michael Vick accepts a plea bargain. Ironically, the deal calls for two years of being some inmate's bitch.

• Naomi Campbell is convinced British Vogue doesn't like black people. But we're pretty sure they're just prejudiced against phone-throwing amazonian shitshows.

• First Leona Helmsley couldn't escape taxes, and now she can't avoid death. The hotel queen is dead at 87.