• Diddy maybe-impregnates the hot one from his hand-picked girl band, Danity Kane. Yeah, it's good to be the boss.
• Sally Field tells Health magazine "I think I look like dog poop." Naturally, we assumed she was just fishing for compliments. Until we saw this. And decided Sally Field will heretofore be referred to as "Turd Ferguson."
• Note to racists: That matronly Muslim woman you saw in the frozen foods aisle of the supermarket is probably not a terrorist.
• Deep-fried Oreos, get your deep-fried Oreos. Now made without any artificial trans fats, for those of you health nuts who happen to enjoy eating large quantities of fried animal lard.
• Need some extra cash? Why not become a sperm donor! It's a great way to make a quick $100 bucks. Sorry, no gays. We hear those same-sex swimmers are contagious!
Editorial Director
[...] probably not. But it just might mean she's given up her dream of getting impregnated by Diddy then happily abandoning her short-lived musical career in favor of coasting off the child support [...]
[...] probably not. But it just might mean she’s given up her dream of getting impregnated by Diddy then happily abandoning her short-lived musical career in favor of coasting off the child support [...]