• Sex and the City spoiler alert: Charlotte gets knocked up, Big is emotionally distant, but nobody cares because the SHOW ENDED OVER THREE YEARS AGO.

• Can we tawk for a minute about that meshugana Joan Rivers and her horse-faced daughter, Melissa?

• Stupidity pays: Miss Teen South Carolina stands to make $25,000 as a model for Donald Trump

• Oddly enough, not every bearded Asian man is Judge Lance Ito

• 62-year-old prostitute apprehended by police, mercilessly mocked for her $15/hour going rate.

• Bombing live performances is so now!