• Even Brad Pitt is bored with film openings. He told MTV, “I didn’t learn shit” at the premier of The Assassination of Jesse James by the Coward Robert Ford.

• Mexicans learn that Canada isn’t a colder America with a better immigration policy.

• What’s Chris Klein up to? Probably just hanging around and eating tuna fish and beans.

• Gay people are charming. Too charming.

• J. Lo’s hotel demands prove that her new stomach comes from her eating habits, not from a fetus.

• Mariah Carey is like a hot Grimace.