• The least surprising news of the day: Mario Batali's less loved restaurant is officially on the block. [NYT]

• A lightbulb shattered into Teri Hatcher’s eye. Yeah, whatev, she totally needs a lift anyways. [AP]

• Michelle Rodriguez doesn't really "do" community service. [AP]

• Is Kelly Conlin's apartment the reason Primedia went under? [Footnoted]

• Andy Dick steals beers from a gay bar, gropes a girl, and yells at a bartender. Wait, he has a kid? [Queerty]

• The Today show rolls over for George Clooney and his Darfur trip. See, if they'd shown the part where he visits Brad Pitt and Angelina Jolie and they all tlk about the baby and how much they hate Jennifer Aniston, then we might watch. [NBCU]

• Melissa Joan Hart (yes, that Melissa Joan Hart) celebrated her 30th birthday last night at Happy Valley where, we're told, she kicked off her Tribeca Film Festival media blitz with class: She was the one handing out promo cards to guests for Mute, which debuts today.