• The King of Page Six, Richard Johnson, attributes his gossip super-stardom to marrying a hottie and punching Village Voice columnists in the face.

• The obligatory Anna Nicole Smith update includes the number of meds in her system at the time of death (ten) and reports that her mom abhors Howard K. Stern.

• Vince shows up for Jen's bday bash. Must mean they're doing it again. Or else he wanted to see her new nose.

• Lindsay Lohan proves she's serious about turning her life around by buying the former pad of suicidal pin-up girl Marilyn Monroe.

• Sarah Jessica Parker may not still have her original nose but she definitely hasn't surgically altered those catcher's mitts hands of hers.

• Brangelina may have sneakily eloped in Costa Rica, sometime before Brad told the paparazzi to back the fuck off.

• Britney continues to make K-Fed's attorneys smile by going clubbing in a skanky, red mini-dress and yakking in her limo.