• When he opens his own restaurant, Graydon Carter won't have to eat liver-filled condoms anymore. [Page Six]

• Jessica Simpson must really miss being the crappiest housewife anyone's ever seen. [The Insider]

• Well, Heath Ledger and Matt Damon may not agree, but Harvey Weinstein declares Samanth Morton totally un-fuckable. [The Scoop]

• A party at Hiro, and we weren't invited? Psh. Serves Glamour right that Gwenyth Paltrow pulled a La Lohan on their asses. [Page Six]

• Blender follows in GQ's footsteps, naming Kelly Clarkson "Woman of the Year". In hopes that two weeks from now, photos of her sunbathing topless will be all over the internet. [Just Jared]